Two best Eds play
by Shaman94
Summary: When the Eds aren't scamming there gaming. And how else can the Eds and their friends play a video game, other then bad mouthing eachother and criticizing the game there playing. Inspired by the YouTube series Two Best Friends Play and Ed Edd n' Eddy. I do not own anything, so there I said it. Recommend a game you want to read them play and I'll see what I can do.
1. Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure

Eddy: So are you guys ready for Skylanders?

Edd: That game that has the toys come to life?

Eddy: Your damn right it is. And it brings back Spyro the f**** Dragon!

Edd: Isn't that the dragon that Elijah Wood voiced?

Eddy:... Shut up!

Edd: He just never happened, didn't he?

Eddy: Yeah! Elijah just never was born.

Edd: The only thing he ever was in that you liked was LOTR.

Eddy: He was only good for gettin his friggin finger bit off and gettin chopped up by Mickey Rourke in Sin City.

Edd: Oh I forgot about that! He was torn apart in that movie.

Eddy: It was so awesome.

* * *

Playing the game, level one.

Edd: So which toy are we going to use?

Eddy: Spyro, motherf****! This like his first real game since...

Edd: That game he was in.

Eddy: Yeah! I remember that game.

Edd: It was a pretty good game.

Eddy: It was the game so awesome we can't even name it, it blew are minds so much.

Edd: Haha!

Puts Spyro on the portal and he appears on screen.

Eddy: Yeah Spyro. What you going to do now Kaos, you Invader Zim knockoff!

Edd: Do you expect him to answer back?

Eddy: Ofcourse not! What kind of question is that?

* * *

The tornado destroyes the island.

Edd & Eddy: Whoa!

Eddy: Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure, shezit is getting serious!

Edd: Could you imagen how the other Spyro games could've played out if the villains realized they could just create a tornado and destroy Spyro?

Eddy: Haha! Spyro 5: The day Ripto used mother nature to bitch slap Spyro.

Edd: Yeah I don't imagen it sailing that much.

Eddy: Be even more shocking if it was rated E for Everyone.

Edd: Hahaha!

* * *

Uses Sonic Boom.

Eddy: What the hell!? What the hell!? She uses her baby's as trained solders from the moment they hatch! This game is sick!

Edd: She has absolutely no mothering instincts.

Eddy: 'Ill name you jr. Now go die by that armored knight over there'.

Edd: 'But I don't want to.'

Eddy: 'Do it you'll be put in time out'

Edd: 'I want to go live with dad'

* * *

Last level, fighting the Hydragon.

Eddy: What the hell is that?

Edd: That's the Hydragon.

Eddy: You had to be high to make that thing.

Edd: No! Hy as in Hydra.

Eddy: That's not seven heads.

Edd: Nine.

Eddy: Whatever! It doesn't have the right number of heads is the point.

Edd: You want the giant killing monster to have more heads to kill you with?

Eddy:... Shut up. How's it even fair of him having this giant monster thingy and we get this tiny purple dragon and his friends.

Edd: Oh and having an army of toys is fair.

Eddy:... Yeah!


	2. Games from the 90's

Starts with Ultimate Doom.

Eddy: The OG first person bitches!

Edd: So I'm the Master Chief clone?

Eddy: Um, No! Your the person Master Chief is cloned after.

Edd: He tore Doom guy up in that DeathBattle.

Eddy: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Shut the F*** up!

Level Knee deep in the Dead.

Edd: Okay, so where do I go from here?

Eddy: Head down that corridor.

Edd: There's two corridors. Which one do you want me to go down?

Eddy: The one I'm pointing at.

Edd turns the camera to the opposite deriction.

Edd: That one?

Eddy: No! I swear I tell you which way to go and then you turn the camera asking 'which way' just to piss me off!

Edd: It's all apart of my master plan to ruin your day.

Meets their first demon enemy.

Edd: Ahahahah! What is that thing!

Eddy: Him? Oh, that's Mr. Huggels.

Edd: What's he throwing at me?

Eddy: The balls of fire made straight from Hells burning inferno itself.

Edd: Looks more like he's Khameahmeahing me.

Eddy: Why do you do that? Why do you have to bring Dragonball Z into everything?

Edd: That's because they're kick ass!

Eddy: I hate you so much right now.

Edd: Goku would Annihlate these guys in a second.

Eddy: I'm going to hit you in the face.

Their first encounter with the Cyberdemon.

Edd & Eddy: Ahahahahaha!

Edd: What is that thing!?

Eddy: Talk to him! Talk to him with your gun!

Montage of them using the chainsaw and tearing apart the demons and zombies with the Doom theme song going.

* * *

Now playing Sonic the Hedgehog.

Edd: The thing about Sonic is...

Eddy: Is that he's bitch awesome!

Edd: Well yeah, but also he seems kind of like a lite wieght.

Eddy: What!?

Edd: Well, like just look at that. He can curl up and roll through solid rock and break metal robots open, but if he doesn't have any rings then it just takes one hit from anything and he's dead.

Eddy: Well, okay I'll give you that. He can dish it out but can't take it back in is what you're basically saying?

Edd: Yes! He's like nothing without those rings.

Eddy: He's nada without prada. Hehe.

Edd: Haha!

Fighting Eggman on the first stage.

Eddy: Yeah so now your fighting that obese nerd that never had a girlfriend in his life and that's why he's so angry all the time and builds these death machines powered by baby animals.

Edd: Is that really his story?

Eddy:... It's your story.

Edd:...shut up.

Eddy: Haha! It's strange isn't it? Like looking into the future.

On the third stage, destroying every robot in their way.

Edd: So why does he use these baby animals to power his death machines?

Eddy: I don't know why. Because he can't afford gas to power them after spending all his money on buying parts to build all these robots? I just don't know.

Edd: Well if he wants to use animals why not things that hunt hedgehogs like a coyote or something?

Eddy: Like use something that naturally wants to kill Sonic the second he frees it. That way when his guard is down he'll have the best WTF moment in history.

Edd: Yeah! Hehe.

* * *

Next game Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped

Eddy: Yeah, Crash Bandicoot Motherf*****!

Edd:What does he even do?

Eddy: He spins like a tornado and bitch slaps you off of frame.

Edd: How's that any different then what the Tasmainian Devil dose on a weekly basis.

Eddy:... Shut up!

Unlocked the Bazooka.

Eddy: Yeah! Does the Tasma-thinga-mawhatever you called it have a bazooka?

Edd: Will you just play the game already Eddy?

They come across a barricade made of nitro boxes.

Eddy: Oh what's this? A bunch of exploding boxes. Well I guess I have to give up now...Bazooka!

Edd: Ah, come on man that's cheating.

Eddy: I know that's why I'm doing it.

Unlocks 3 Aku Aku masks and archives momentarily indestructiblity.

Eddy: Oh look at that!

Edd: That mask could've literally of done this any time and he picks now to do it?

Eddy: Oh! I just walk through the baddies now! Even the bombs got nothing on me! You got nothing!

Spins crazily and falls of the platform they were on.

Edd & Eddy:...

Eddy: What?

Edd: Hahaha! They got something on you apperantly.

Eddy: Why would they make that a thing you can do? what the...

* * *

Finally playing Spyro the Dragon.

Eddy: This is the real motherf**** Spyro bitches!

Edd: Who are you calling bitches? Why are saying it plural? I'm the only one here with you.

Eddy: Shut up!

Chasing one of the thieves.

Eddy: I'm going to get him. Grrr... I'm going to get you.

Edd: So is Spyro like the only dragon his age or what? Why is he the only one doing anything to stop this Gnasty Gnorc guy?

Eddy: It's because he's not a p****y like the other dragons are.

Edd:... Wow, never thought I would hear anyone ever call dragons that.

Eddy: Yeah well you just did so chew on that for a while.

Fighting Gnasty Gnorc.

Edd: What is a Gnorc anyways?

Eddy: It's the unholy offspring of a mommy gnome and daddy Orc meeting and getting freaky while no one is looking. Then the mother throws it away.

Edd:... What?

Eddy: Chew on that for awhile.


	3. Call of Duty: Black Ops

On the title screen.

Edd: Okay so why are we playing the first one and not the new Call of Duty.

Eddy: I told you already, because I'm expecting to get the second one for Christmas!

Edd: I know, I just like when you get that angry.

Playing the first level and just broke into Castro's bedroom where he is using a woman as a shield.

Edd: Oh it's bullet time. I'm taking the shot.

Eddy: Well don't hit the whore!

Edd: I'm not, see I got a clean shot.

Eddy: Great then put a cap in his cigar smokin' ass!

The shot is fired and kills Castro. Sgt. Woods then shoot's the woman.

Eddy: What the hell!

Edd: Wow.

Eddy: He just mowed her down. He didn't even care. He's my friggin' hero!

Edd: Haha, America!

Eddy: We all love you Wood.

Edd: That's what your mom said last night.

Eddy: What the...

Just have been caught by the Cubans.

Eddy: What the hell?

Edd: No, I killed you! What's he's doing back?

Eddy: His face must be bullet proof or something.

Edd: What if, and stay with me here, he has Wolverine powers? Huh? Huh?

Eddy: I... I hate you so much right now.

Edd: You're no fun.

Eddy: Then why'd you come over here!?

On the scene where Mason and company are captured by the Vietcong and forced to play Russian roulette. Ice Cube's character has just been shot.

Edd: Nooooo! Ice Cube! You had so many funky fresh beats to mix still yo.

Eddy: And now he's dead. But hey he's been dead to me for years.

Edd: I think to you and the rest of the world.

Woods is brought out for interrogation next.

Edd: Oh my God. They're still playing that Russian gun game thing. They're sick! Sicker then you Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi lesbo fanfic.

Eddy: I... Shut up!

Reching the end of the game.

Eddy: So wait, did he kill Kennedy or not?

Edd: The numbers were going through his head and he was in the crowd stalking him.

Eddy: 'Oh hey Ted.'

Edd: 'Yeah bill?'

Eddy: 'See that psycho looking dude in the crowd following the president?'

Edd: 'Eeyup.'

Eddy: 'Should we check him out or something?'

Edd: 'Na.'

Eddy: 'Yeah, you're right. Not like he would want to kill the most important man in the world, right?'

Back on main menu screen.

Eddy: You know what? The story is too confusing. You brought over your own controller?

Edd: Let me check... Yes.

Eddy: Perfect, cause we're fighting motherf**** zombies you SOB!

Starts the Pentegon arena.

Edd: Who am I?

Eddy: You? Oh you're Castro you communist son of a b***h!

Edd: What? No I don't wanna be anti American!

Eddy: Yeah, well you are so suck on that.

Edd: So you're Nixon.

Eddy: I don't care at least he's American.

Just fought off a Wave of zombies and use their points to upgrade their weapons.

Eddy: Check this fire power mofo!

Opens fire on Castro.

Edd: What the hell are you doing?

Eddy: Fighting for America, Communist!

Edd: Well take this Patriot.

Fires back at Nixon. Meanwhile the Zombies break into the room already and come up behinde Castro.

Edd: Oh damn they're right behinde me.

Turns firing on them while still being attacked by Nixon.

Eddy: Take it bitch! Hahahah.

Falls to the floor.

Eddy: Ha, America!

The Zombies then overwhelm Nixon due to a lack of ammo.

Edd: Ha! You died too.

Eddy: It doesn't matter. So doesn't matter. My dick got so hard from bringing you down with me.

Edd: Ah, just like in real life.

Eddy: That's just how I roll home boy.

Edd: I'm flattered that me going down gives you a rager.

Eddy:... Shut up!


	4. Batman: Arkham City

The main menu screen.

Edd & Eddy: Dadadadadad Batman! Batman!

Edd: So have you played this game yet?

Eddy: Um, no! I have not played the, like, most bitchin' game ever made ever.

Edd: Alright just start it.

* * *

The opening sequence is playing.

Eddy: So the story is that they made a small part of Gotham into a new prison for the criminals since the whole fiasco in the first game.

Edd: So instead of just like taking them to Metropolis' prison or keeping them where they had them as they we're making Arkham city. They just take some people's home and workplaces just to turn them into a prison turf war?

Eddy: Yeah they started to lean twoards the more communist idea but hey, you know they voted for Mayor dick bag over there so reap what you sow.

Edd: It's unamerican is what it is.

* * *

Bruce Wayne is being beaten by the Penguin.

Edd & Eddy: Yeah! Danny Devito!

Eddy: He rules!

Edd: Only Devito can pull the Penguin.

Eddy: If they were going to have the Penguin in the Dark night trilogy, they would fail without Devito to play him.

Edd: Probably why he wasn't in it.

Eddy: You know what he was in...

Edd & Eddy: Sunny!

* * *

Bruce Just escaped the Penguin and contacts Alfred.

Eddy: Alfred is such a tool.

Edd: He just serves him crumpets all day because he's so British.

Eddy: Does he do anything other then talk to Batman on the com channel? What does he do other then add his two cents?

Edd: I don't know. Just so Bruce Wayne doesn't have to clean his house when he gets home after fighting crime?

Eddy: That would suck so bad. 'I just got back from drenching myself in the criminals of Gotham city blood. Now I have to clean this whole damn mansion. F*** me.'

Edd: Speaking of which, how does Alfred single handedly keep it clean?

Eddy: I don't even know anymore. I stopped questioning the Batman mythos when they got George Cloony to play him.

* * *

Back to Bruce being beaten by the Penguin.

Eddy: It's Always Sunny in Gotham City.

Edd: Never once have I seen the sun rise in Gotham.

Eddy: I never have seen the Sun rise... Period.

Edd: We should vist Phelidelphia some day.

Eddy:Where even the White People are black.

Edd: Devito puts them all in check.

Eddy: Espicallay that Christmas episode.

Edd: Why did he hide in the couch? That was so horrific.

Eddy: I have seen some strange things in this culdesac alone, but nothing can compare to Danny Devito's ass on that episode.

Edd: Ah, you put it back into my head now. All that sweat and nudity.

Eddy: Do this kids. Google image: Most disturbing thing you'll ever see, and I gareentee you the first thing to pop up will be Danny Devito's ass from that episode.

Edd: Probably followed by every picture of Lady Gaga.

Eddy: If you do Google search this, contact us and tell us what you found cause we want to know. We just don't want to find it out ourselves.

Edd: We're lazy that way.

* * *

Figthing the Joker and his goons.

Eddy: Where did these guys come from? That's not fair.

Edd: Because the Joker is known for playing fairly.

Eddy: Shut up.

Edd: Oh they got a giant with one arm!

Eddy: Wait for it...

Edd: Wait for what?

Eddy: The motherf**** Titan!

Edd: How are you supposed to beat these guys?

Eddy: Simple... I'm Batman.

* * *

Switches over to Edds iPad to play Arkham City: Lockdown.

Eddy: This is what you've been playing?

Edd: Yeah! It was made by the same guys as Mortal Kombat and... Wait no it's better I show you.

Eddy: Your Internet history?

Edd: Will you just let me do this Eddy?

Now fighting Kano from Mortal Kombat.

Eddy: What the hell?

Edd: You know some people didn't like MK vs. DC, but I think they were wrong.

Eddy: I'm just going to stop you right there Double D. You're telling me this as if I care but I don't, I just don't. It's like a photo album. If I'm not in any of the pictures and no one is gettin busy I don't want to look at it.

Edd: You're such a dick.


	5. Lollipop Chainsaw

Edd & Eddy: Lollipop Chainsaw!

Eddy: Isn't this great Double D? Now you could live out your dream to be a... Cheerleader!

Edd: A totally hot Cheerleader.

* * *

Opening sequence, with Juliet doing yoga.

Edd: Oh that's so hot!

Eddy: And we used to think Nazz was the it girl.

Edd: Well it was either her or the other, and...

Eddy: We made the right call, let's just say that.

* * *

Playing the first level.

Eddy: Look at this girl, how tuff she is. She's just riding her bike right through these zombies.

Edd: Oh, just imagen her in bed.

Eddy: Oooohhhhhh!

Made their first Sparkle hunting.

Edd: Sparkle hunting!

Eddy: No! Stop Sparkle hunting!

Edd: In your dreams. I'm going to Sparkle hunt until the power goes out.

Eddy: Or, and this is just a suggestion, I could always turn off the counsel.

Edd: And I'll turn it back on.

Eddy: Just like this Juliet does for me.

Edd: You're sick.

* * *

Now in the costume room, tring different cheerleader suits for Juliet.

Edd: Do we have to do this Eddy?

Eddy: Hell yeah we have to do this. Sticking a hot girl infromnt of us and not expecting us to play with her wardrobe is like laying a picnic out on the beach and getting pissed when the seagulls come and eat it all.

Edd: Yeah that does sound like you.

Eddy: I just love hitting you. Everything you say fills me with incredible rage and anger.

Puts on the American Cheerleader suit.

Eddy: Alright say with me now.

Edd & Eddy: AMERICA!

Edd: I've never been more patriotic then I am now.

Eddy: I'm Paterotic.

Edd: We are so canceled because of you.

Now tring one of the anime costumes.

Eddy: What the hell? I can't find this hot.

Edd: They put more clothes on her then skin.

Eddy: I don't even like anime for that exact reason.

Looking at the bunny suit.

Edd & Eddy:...

Eddy: What the f...

* * *

In the junk yard fighting Zed.

Edd: Why do the rainbows shoot out instead of blood?

Eddy: They covered that already dude. It's because she's bitch awesome.

Edd: She has that ancient Japanese power passed on from her ancestors.

Eddy: Yeah, even though she is white.

Edd: 'Juliet why didn't you finish your homework!'

Eddy: 'I would've but first I had to become a Sailor scout and save the world in my scantly clad costume.'

Edd & Eddy: Hahaha!

* * *

They turn the camera to look up Juliet's skirt.

Eddy: Oh look at that.

Edd: At what? She's covering up.

Eddy: Only because she see's you and is all like 'OMG who is this sock headed nerd and why is he looking up my skirt instead of getting a girlfriend in real life?'

Edd: You're the one controlling the camera.

They unlock an achievement for looking up her skirt. That's a real thing I'm not kidding.

Edd: What?

Eddy: Yes finally my curiosity pays off!

* * *

Back in the costume room changing into the Ash William costume.

Eddy: What the hell? That doesn't turn me on.

Edd: I just think of Bruce Campbell more then Juliet Starling.

Eddy: Bruce is the last thing to pop into my head when I think of hot cheerleader!

Edd: And Avril Lavigne is the first thing.

Eddy: Oh she's so hot!

Edd: I can't imagen her looking bad, ever.

Eddy: And now Chad Krogger is marrying her! Damn it man!

Edd: Curse you Nickleback for plucking that flower before the rest of us bees can pollinate it.

Eddy: I need a cold shower.

* * *

Unlocked the Sparkle hunting power and starts to play the Doom theme to it.

Eddy: You know this was fun at first but now, I'm bored.

Edd: Yeah, we should take a break.

Eddy: Let's turn it over.

Edd: Ah, just like your sexuality.

Eddy:... I'm going to hurt you Double D.

* * *

Lets another pair play the game.

Buttercup & Bubbles: Two best sisters play Lollipop Chainsaw!

Buttercup: You ready to take the mantle Bubbles?

Bubbles: For freedom!

Meets Juliet's father.

Buttercup: Why does her dad look like Elvis?

Bubbles: Prbably just old or some movie reference.

Buttercup: In what movie is Elvis a zombie hunter?

Bubbles: I don't know I don't watch those scary movies.

Buttercup: You are such a baby.

* * *

Listens to Juliet and Nick talk.

Buttercup: What's so great about a disembodied head as a boyfriend? What can you get out of that?

Bubbles: I can think of somethings we can do with it.

Buttercup:... I thought you were the innocent one.

* * *

Back at the main menu and hears Juliet say 'Party Hard'.

Buttercup: Why does Juliet sound so familure?

Bubbles:... I don't know.

Buttercup: And Sparkle just seems to fit her personality for some reason. Why is that?

Bubbles: Stop it.

Buttercup: I'm just asking. I feel as though I'm related to her for some reason.

Bubbles: Just play the game already Buttercup.

Buttercup: My little sister, my little sister, Ahahahah!

* * *

They defeated the final boss, Killabille.

Buttercup: That was just pathetic and an insult to the king of rock n' roll.

Bubbles: I'm glad it had a happy ending after all.

Buttercup: Me too.

After the credits the bad ending plays.

Buttercup: What the f***!? What the f***!?

Bubbles: That wasn't a happy ending in any since of the phrase.

Buttercup: What's up with that?

* * *

All four together now.

Eddy: Alright, together. 1, 2, 3!

Edd, Eddy, Buttercup, & Bubbles: A-MER-IC-A


	6. Earthbound: Mother 2

At the main menu.

Eddy: So it is a sequel to Mother then, right?

Edd: Yes. It's kind of like Crono Trigger meets Psychonauts.

Eddy: That actually sounds like it would be pretty bitch awesome.

Edd: It is.

* * *

Opening sequence with Ness.

Eddy: So who am I?

Edd: You're the boy in the baseball cap.

Eddy: The nerd in the baseball cap with a backpack. So I'm you now.

Edd: Hey your mom likes them nerdy.

Eddy:... I'm going to kill you some day Double D.

Edd: I'm certain you will. I'm certain.

* * *

Fighting a foe.

Eddy: What's that supposed to be even?

Edd: That is the embodiment of ultimate evil. The true face of hate and fear. It is Mad Duck.

Eddy:... You're kidding right? This can't be the worst enemy we have to face in the game.

Edd: Na, this is just a bipolar water fowl.

Eddy: Yeah I can cure that illness. It's called a blood hound and shotgun.

* * *

Stumbles upon the blue cult.

Eddy: What is this? The Blue KKK?

Edd: It's the cult in the game that wants to paint everything blue.

Eddy: Even that cow we found?

Edd: Even that cow we found.

Eddy: Never has a cult put any less fear into my heart then these guys have right now.

Edd: What did you expect for a kids game?

Eddy: I don't know. At least a sacerfical lamb, mabey.

Edd: You were actually expecting a cult, in a kids video game, to preform a lamb sacerfice?

Eddy: Hey man, they already added a cult in the game. All I'm saying is just go all out and don't wuss out half way.

Edd: I bet you hear that a lot from Buttercup, huh?

Eddy: You just want me to kill you, don't you?

Edd: Tell me I'm wrong.

Eddy: I'll tell the morge what to wright on your headstone. 'Here lies Double D. Virgin... That's it'.

Edd:...

Eddy: Too close to home?

* * *

They got lost half way through.

Eddy: Where am I!?

Edd: How do you get lost in a video game made for kids?

Eddy: It's more confusing then Bobobo! How am I not supposed to get lost?

Edd: By following the compass!

Eddy: The compass? You want me to use the f***ing compass? Because its telling me to walk into that wall right now.

Edd: It's telling you that's the way you need to go.

Eddy: I know which way I need to go and that's to the final level already so I can take Both of my feet and stomp them up into that fat neighbor of ness and whatever alien you call that thing, a*****. And I'm not going to stop until I'm wearing dry s*** for knee high socks!

Edd: Yeah that's American!

Eddy: That's how an American fights a Japanese RPG.

* * *

Finally reached the last level.

Eddy: Oh! What is this stuff? What am I walking on here?

Edd: Best I can tell, a trail of entrails. I'm not really sure.

Eddy: Eeewww, this is so gross.

Eddy: Why is that music playing?

Edd: And here we go...

Reaches the end of the trail.

Eddy: Oh... Oh my God! What is that?

Edd: That's the alien, Giygas, and the fat neighbor. Yeah they're bros now.

Eddy: The alie looks more like a giant period.

Edd: Oh! That could be!

Eddy: Why?

Edd: Wait for it.

Giygas takes his true form.

Eddy: I still don't see it.

Edd: Check the out lines made by the red.

Eddy: Inside the lines or out?

Edd: Inside. See it makes an embryo.

Eddy:... I just don't see it.

Edd: It's right infront of you!

They won.

Eddy: Well they made that more confusing then it needed to be.

Edd: It was fun though, huh?

Eddy:... Yeah.

* * *

Plays the song Mother by Danzig.


	7. Mortal Kombat

Eddy: Are you ready for...

Edd & Eddy: MORTAL KOMBAT!

Edd: I sure am ready for it. One question however, why is she here?

Buttercup: What? Now I can't play games with you guys?

Eddy: Oh yeah. Buttercup is currently confused about her sexuality in her college days and is currently into all the boy stuff, you know like the blood and gore of Mortal Kombat. So... There you go.

Buttercup: Yeah that would explain why I'm with you.

Eddy: What? What did you say?

Buttercup: Oh nothing.

* * *

On character selection with Edd and Eddy playing two player selecting their characters.

Eddy: I'm going to pick...

Buttercup: Raiden!

Eddy: Not Riaden.

Buttercup: You son of a...!

Eddy: Barka. One, because he has Wolverine blades. And two, he is pure evil... Just like our current President. BAM!

Buttercup: That's real good Eddy, but you still need a partner!

Eddy: I know that! You think I don't know that, but I do.

Buttercup: Just pick somebody already!

Eddy: You want me to pick someone!? Here ya go b***h! I pick f***ing Reptile!

Edd: Doesn't anyone want to know who I'm picking?

Eddy & Buttercup: Shut up!

Edd: Fine! I was just going to pick both of the Sub-Zero's anyways.

Eddy: Oh that's real brilliant. Pick two of the same guy why don't you?

Buttercup: When's my turn?

Eddy: When one of us dies! Now silence yourself... Dog!

Buttercup: You did not just call me a dog you...

* * *

The fight begins with Baraka vs Normal Sub-Zero.

Edd & Eddy: Fight!

Edd: Check this out. I'm going to freez your ass and then stick an icicle up it so far you won't sit right for a week.

Buttercup: Thats funny, I always thought that Eddy was the butch of the relationship.

Eddy: Oh that's so funny because that's the name of your clone so what does that make you?

Buttercup: The OG motherlucker.

Edd: Yeah, now you've been replaced by Scootaloo from MLP.

Eddy: Ooohhh, snap!

Buttercup: Don't make me get the Kanker sisters!

Eddy: What ever. Don't you have a boy clone of yourself to go get knockedup by?

Buttercup: I'd never let you even get to first base.

Eddy: I wasn't talking about me!

Buttercup: I know.

* * *

Now Reptile vs Cyber Sub-Zero.

Edd: You know the only thing cooler then Sub-Zero? Cyber Sub-Zero!

Eddy: Yeah he would need an upgrade.

Edd: What's that supposed to mean?

Eddy: It means he sucks. Just look at the main menu. They have Scorpion beating the s**** out of him.

Edd: They Lie!

* * *

Reptile wins by using his grapple attack and Eddy preforms the fatality.

Edd: No, don't vomit in my none existing mouth.

Eddy: Begging won't help. Hey Buttercup, look familure? Him taking a big mouth full of that nasty goo.

Buttercup:... Double D, give me that controller.

Edd: Destroy him Buttercup. Make him hurt.

Buttercup: Yeah, I want to make him cry.

Eddy: Oh bring it you stone cold b****!

Buttercup: It's on! You're going down!

* * *

Now Eddy vs Butercup. Both are back on the character select screen to pick their team.

Eddy: Oh, hey Buttercup! You know how Raiden is your favorite character? Well now I'm going to use him to destroy you with. Suck on that.

Buttercup: I will ram my thumb through your eye socket you little b****!

Eddy: What's that? You don't want me to pick your second fav, Smoke? Too bad for you then, huh? I'm going to destroy you with your heroes. What now?

Buttercup: I'm going use the only characters not from MK.

Eddy: You don't mean...

Buttercup: Yes. Kratos and Freddy Kruger motherf****!

Edd: Why is Freddy in there anyways?

Eddy: I know right! Both owned by the same company that owns DC and they couldn't like add Green Lantern instead of the horror icon that has the least kills out of all of them.

Edd: I want Ash Williams in it!

Eddy: Yeah!

Buttercup: That would be kickass.

Eddy: Enough talk, let's fight!

* * *

Begins with Raiden vs Kratos.

Eddy: Your Conan the Barbarian rip off doesn't stand a chance against the OG God of thunder.

Buttercup: He is so not the OG! We all saw that DeathBattle with him and Thor.

Eddy: So you admit he sucks?

Buttercup:... I... Shut up and play the damn game!

Eddy: Some ones angry.

Buttercup: And some ones going to bed unsatisfied tonight.

Eddy: Happens either way babe.

Edd: TMI guys.

Eddy: Ah! I forgot you were there.

Edd: I just moved over a seat.

Eddy: I know that but you did it with the grace of a ninja.

Buttercup: Double D is the last person to pop into my head when I think ninja.

Edd: Hey! I'm on your side.

Buttercup: I'm just stating my opinion.

Eddy: That's the freedom of America Double D.

Edd: I know that! I'm the one who taught you that!

Eddy: Silence yourself commy!

* * *

Now Smoke vs Freddy.

Eddy: Takes this Kruger, you deep fried Phantasam knockoff!

Buttercup: He's OG.

Edd: Not really Phantasam came before Halloween was made.

Buttercup: Why must you use facts to make me look like a fool?

Edd: I'm only stating my opinion.

Buttercup: I will have Brick plant his seed in Blossom if you don't shut the hell up Double D.

Edd: I'll be good.

Eddy: Don't give into her threats Double D. We're Americans we don't negotiate with Terroists.

Edd: Yeah but Eddy, the terroroists aren't able to left a two story building over your head.

Eddy: So! Ed dropped a two story building on yours when you were only like three, and you bounced back.

Edd: He what?

Eddy: Oh nothing.

* * *

Buttercup wins with Kratos and preforms the fatality on Raiden.

Eddy: No! It's not right for a girl to beat a boy in a video game.

Buttercup: Oh Raiden, this is not the side of the fatality I wanted you to be on when I play this game.

Edd: Kratos is the last of the OG's.

Eddy: Rest in peace sweet prince.

All take a moment of silence.

Eddy: So let's play the live network.

Edd: Okay.

Buttercup: I love competition.

Edd: Yes, Kevin and the rest of the college's football team would know that first hand.

Buttercup: Hey I'm not the frilly cheerleader type like Blossom and Bubbles.

Eddy: Oh Blossom and Bubbles are so hot in those uniforms.

Buttercup: Right, so how do you want to die?

Eddy: It's only an opinion babe.

Buttercup: I kind of want to kill you by the head, see if any brains spill out.

Eddy: Everyone else thinks it.

Buttercup: But I also want to know if you have any guts that would spill out.

Eddy: If you wore the uniform I'm certain it would work for you too.

* * *

Fighting others online. First competitor is Noob Saiden vs Them as Jax.

Eddy: You can't beat Jax, he's like 100% American.

Buttercup: And he's got those big robot arms.

Eddy: That's American engineering BC.

They win and Jax does his victory stance.

All: America!

Now they are reading their inbox.

Edd: Oh look that guy has 'inator' in his username. Add him as a friend, anyone with 'inator' in their username is our friend.

Eddy: Agreed.

Buttercup: I don't approve.

Eddy: Yeah we'll it's a good thing your not apart of the Two Best Eds, huh?

Edd: Oh check it this guy wants to fight us.

Eddy: Killinator. Why should we fight him when we got the whole world to choose from.

Edd: He claims he has something that'll blow our minds.

Eddy:... Alright. Pick Kratos and accept his challenge.

* * *

They except his challenge and see what the surprise was. The guy unlocked Goro and found away to play as him without his clothes on.

Everyone: WHOA!

Edd: I don't want to fight him any more. What if I loose?

Eddy: You accepted the challenge now get in there and fight that Four armed and three legged giant, inbred, mutant of fictional nature.

Edd: I can't, you take it. I can't live with dying by those four hands. I know where they've been.

Eddy: Will you shut it? We are not going to loose to this guy alright. We have the God of War on our side and he has just a streaking mutant.

They win the first match.

Eddy: There see, we're winning.

Edd: I'm trying not to look.

Buttercup: Yeah well I'm trying to see for as long as I can. It's the only real one I've seen for awhile.

Eddy: All the more reason he must die.

They loose the second round.

Eddy:...

Buttercup: You were saying?

Eddy: Don't even start.

Finally loose the second round.

Edd: See! I told you!

Buttercup: How does the sting of defeat feel?

Eddy: Well... Not good babe. It doesn't sting as bad as my eyesight for having to see that whole thing, but it still burns.

Edd: Just like after the both of you pee, huh.

Eddy & Buttercup Both look at Edd.

Edd: See you all next chapter!


	8. Harvest Moon: A New Begining

The Opening sequence.

Eddy: Look at that kid. Just strutting with his Cow.

Edd: He's got swag.

Eddy: Pimpin' ain't easy... It's much simpler.

* * *

Customizing their caracter.

Edd: Let's be a girl.

Eddy: Oh hell no! I do the ramming, I don't get rammed.

Edd: But then you could make her wear whatever you want.

Eddy: I don't want to make a minor wear scantly clad clothes, alright!

Edd: Well when you put it that way.

Picking their skin color.

Eddy: I'm going to be...

Edd: Black! You could jump higher.

Eddy: Niether of us are black.

Edd: Oh gee, I didn't know that.

Eddy: Hey f*** you, we're going to be Beige.

Now picking eye shapes.

Eddy: And before you could say anything! We are going American round eye.

Edd: Oh come on, how many times can we choose to be Japanese?

Eddy: Okay, back up. First you wanted our guy to be a chick, then you wanted to make them black and now you're saying you want him to have Japanese eyes. How exactly did you want our character to look?

Edd: Like a black Japanes girl.

Eddy:... Why? When have you ever seen a black Japanese girl.

Edd: I don't question your fantasies Eddy.

Eddy: That's because mine are plain and simple, yours are strange and convoluted.

Edd: Ah, look at you using big words.

Picking hair style and color.

Edd: Whoa! Look at that spiky hair.

Eddy: Check it.

Colors it black.

Edd: Oh oh dude.

Eddy: Goku is going to be our name.

Edd: Yes! Alright!

Eddy: It was either that or Pikachu.

Edd: We picked wisely.

* * *

First level. Goku walks down the path and over to the tree stump. The old man then passes out and the tourtouial begins.

Eddy: Oh just look at that kid hearing voices that aren't even there.

Edd: It's the tree stump. Look inside the tree stump!

Eddy: Why are you talking to the game as if it'll talk back?

Edd: It's just nice to talk to something that won't talk back for a change.

Eddy: Oh, hahaha!

They are told to help the old man.

Eddy: Oh look that guy just passed out.

Edd: And now "?" is telling you to help him.

Eddy: I have to help that creepy child molester looking dude?

Edd: Yeah just don't go into his house if he asks you.

Later in the village.

Edd: Dunhill:'You must be tired coming all the way out here. Why not come into my house and rest?' No! Your not supposed to go into his house!

Eddy: I can't control him, no! This is going hurt.

Edd: Relax, just don't eat any food he gives you.

Expalins Health & Stamina.

Eddy: See the hearts are my health and the smily face is my condition.

Edd: You know it should be a big old angry face up there.

Eddy: Exactly.

Dunhill made them food.

Eddy: No! Don't eat it!

Edd: Wash your shame off Eddy. Wash it off.

* * *

They see the Hossan and his son leaving the town.

Edd: Dunhill: The people here are kind and honest, but that is not enough to keep a town going.' That's the cold law of economics b***h!

Eddy: Capitalism at work friend. Do or die and we ain't dying today.

Edd: Even if our hearts run out, we'll just pass out.

Eddy: Hopefully not around Dunhill.

* * *

They arrive at the farm and name it.

Edd: What should we name it?

Eddy: The bad*$$ Motha! No, The bad $$ Motha 5000. Five times the bad*$$ary.

Edd:Dunhill:'Still it hasn't been touched in a number of years.' I'm just going to beat you to the punch here and say yes, I know what you mean.

Eddy: It's no fun if you don't let me say it.

Edd: Exactly.

Now they must collect 10 items to clean the farm.

Eddy: Weed! Yeah!

Edd: What do you care? You don't even like Weed jokes in movies.

Eddy: They are all played out and repetitive.

Now they're being told about the bag.

Edd:Dunhill:'Now allow me to explain to you about the bag.'

Eddy: What? I'm married already?

The bag opens up on the screen.

Eddy: Oh. I already know.

Edd: No. Now we probably don't know what to do next.

Eddy: We never do.

Edd: Good point.

* * *

Dunhill leads them into the players house and explains the furnishing.

Edd: Dunhill:'This is your kitchen and Refrigirator. In the kitchen you can cook.' Becuase I thought kitchens were made for bathing in the sink.

Eddy: We don't cook, we're men. We let our women do that frilly house labor.

Edd: I don't know man, I'd rather do house work then normal work.

Eddy: Well... Yeah.

Edd: Dunhill:'This is your calendar.'

Edd & Eddy: Chicken!

Eddy: Where is the big lug anyway?

Edd: He said something about a new Dark Souls game coming out today, so he just went for it.

Eddy: His lost.

Edd: Dunhill:'And this is your bed where you'll do your...'

Eddy: F****. A new chick every night.

Edd: You're depraved.

Eddy: Thank you.

Edd: Not a compliment.

Eddy: Exactly.

* * *

The tortuial is over.

Eddy: Is that it? I just gotta go to bed now?

Edd: Eeyup. Long tortuial, huh?

Eddy: I'll say. I was just as long as I last in bed.

Edd: What?

Eddy: For hours. It just keeps going.

Edd: That's so not how it happens. You probably last for 30 seconds before finishing and leave Buttercup all unstaisfied. Then you curl up in the fettle position and cry yourself to sleep.

Eddy:... Shut up!

Edd: Oh man, I'm not too far off am I?

Eddy: Shut up!

* * *

Wake up in the game and talks to Dunhill.

Edd: Dunhill:'Oh I'm sorry. I most have woke you with my job. Well more of a hobby really.'

Eddy: Your hobby is having minor file a restraining order on you old timer.

They follow Dunhill and meet Hana & Emma. They greet Emma.

Eddy: Hey, Emma is pretty hot.

Edd: She's like a chibi farm girl toy.

Emma tells them which house is her's.

Eddy: Oh look at that, I didn't even say anything and she already tell's me where she lives. That's pimping.

Edd: Emma:'If you send an item, I'll give you the money you made off of it the next morning. I'll give the details later.' When I'm making your breakfast after a long night of gettin some.

Eddy: America!

Dunhill explains the map and tells them to find him.

Edd: Dunhill:'Okay Goku, now come find me.'

Eddy: He only walked down the street, I could see him right there.

Edd: In hide n' seek, he was always it.

* * *

Later in the game they meet a girl named Michelle, who has them go on a ridiculously long quest to get an incredibly rare ruby for her.

Eddy: Well that was quiet an adventure.

Edd: And I think we all learned something from it that will make us better people just for doing that quest. Now let's give our woman what she asked for.

Eddy: Never say that phrase agian.

Edd: Just give her the ruby.

Gives Michelle the ruby and discovers she just used them to get the ruby.

Eddy: Oh hell no! You did not just play me whench!

Edd: She used you to get what she wants, just like in real life.

Eddy: That's why I keep my pimp hand strong, now where's the 'smack-the-dumba$$-hoe' button on here?

Edd: Let's just take our losses and walk away.

Eddy: When have we ever done that?

Edd: Never, we usally keep building our house of woe until it becomes so unstable that it crashes down around us.

Eddy: And why stop now?

Eventually reveals to the town what kind of girl Michelle really is.

Edd: There, are you happy now?

Eddy: That didn't satisfie me nearly as much as I thought it would. This must be how Blossom feels every night she is with you.

Edd:...

Eddy: Uh Hu, that's your manhood feeling the sting of defeat. Hurts, don't it?

* * *

Later come across two girls arguing about who's breasts are larger.

Edd: Are you serious!? This is a kids game, isn't it?

Eddy: Oh how can I help? I wanna help them in their debate. I can be judge.

Edd: They wouldn't let you anywhere near them in real life.

Eddy: At least I don't look like I need to be going door to door telling people that I moved into the neighborhood.

Edd: You look like you should be doing that more then me.

Eddy: You're just jealous because I have the pimp strut and you got Bill Gates looks.

Edd: And of those two who do you think makes more money?

Eddy: They both make an easy living, but with the pimp I do what I do in my everyday life.

Edd: Tend to yourself and slowly realize that this is about the highest point of success in your never ending life?

Eddy:... Yes.

* * *

Later in the game the two have to find a new place to build a new farm house.

Edd: Over here, keep it close to the village.

Eddy: Not happen. You see my fine sock headed friend, it's all about prime real estate.

Edd: You've been reading Real Estate for Dummies haven't you?

Eddy: Haha... How'd you know.

Edd: You left the book on the coffe table.

* * *

The cow they've had for the longest in the game became sick and they took too long to retrieve the Medicean.

Edd: Noooooo! Bob! You said nothing bad would happen if I went to sleep.

Eddy: To you, I meant you!

Edd: Sleep well sweet prince.

Eddy: You... You talking to me?

Edd: I'm talking to my poor cow who just died.

Eddy: This rated E game will make a man out of you by the time you finish it. Getting played by girls, learning the hardships of a down economy, women comparing their gorgeous breast in public... What was I talking about?

Edd: Poor Bob. I need some cheering up and a burger.

* * *

Thanks for reading special thanks to Pikachu9112 For helping with the story.


	9. id Software Games

They begin with Wolfenstien on the IPad.

Eddy: It's time to waste Nazi scum.

Edd: We've done it before, we can do it again because...

Edd & Eddy: WE ARE AMERICAN!

Edd: Known fact: Winston Churchill is my hero.

Eddy: He is one of my exceptions. One of the only none-Americans I approve of.

Edd: Who are the others?

Eddy: Let's see... There's Yugioh.

Edd: Doesn't exsist.

Eddy: Doctor Who.

Edd: Isn't real.

Eddy: And my number one none-American, Optimus Prime.

Edd: He... Well he is a six wheeled semi-truck.

Eddy: He's a robot John Wayne is what he is.

Edd: And Megatron is that Punkass Hitler.

Eddy: That's why OP had to curb stomp him, Unicron, Starscream & every other wannabe world ruler with his boot of b***h awesomeness.

Edd:... Are those boots or just his feet?

Eddy: That's a good question. We ask the questions people wanna know the answer to.

Edd: That's why we are rich my friend.

Eddy: Not your friend.

Edd: Awww I'm sad now.

Eddy: Good. Your pain sustains me.

They try to play but keep getting killed.

Eddy: Ahahahhahaha! This sucks!

Edd: Yeah it seemed so much easier in my mind.

Eddy: I can't stop when I want to.

Edd: do you just want to move on to the next game or what?

Eddy: Oh, hell no. This is a matter of principle now.

Keeps playing until they finish the demo.

Eddy: Yeah! America!

Edd: Oh, are we done? It only took... Five hours.

Eddy: The war wasn't won in a day.

* * *

Now playing Doom 3.

Eddy: Hey, we already know the main idea of the Doom series. Let's just get to the good part.

Skips right to the chainsaw and plays the theme song while creating a massive trail of blood and gore from the body parts of their fallen allies and foes.

Eddy: Yeah! Nothing can stop the Chainsaw! Yeah!

They reach the corridor where the lights were out and blood was all over the walls and floor. As they would advance down the hall one light would come on to reveal a zombie with a chainsaw before it goes off and disappears.

Edd & Eddy: Ahahahah!

Edd: I can't look.

Eddy: Watch it. We can beat him.

Edd: You said so yourself, no one can beat the chainsaw.

Eddy: I met anyone but us. We are the only ones who can beat a chainsaw.

Edd: Curly from the Three Stooges movie.

Eddy: Ah, damn your right.

Walk right into one of the many traps in the video game.

Edd: Oh no, how could I of fallen for that?

Eddy: Pull out the chainsaw, the chainsaw!

Edd: Which button do I push to switch weapons?

He dies.

Eddy: Ah damn you upside down heads with spider legs!

* * *

Now playing Quake.

Edd: Ed! How the Hell are ya?

Ed: I am good Double D.

Eddy: Why did you pop up now big Ed?

Ed: Because I love the Cthulhu Mythos Eddy.

Eddy:... What?

Edd: Ed is a huge fan of the Cthulhu Mythos...

Eddy: As we all are.

Edd: And the game Quake has a lot of the monster by name in it even.

Eddy: Okay, but does it have chainsaw.

Edd:... I wanna say no, but I can't remember.

Eddy: You have a iPad, why not just Wikipedia it right now?

Edd: Do you realize that you have a better chance of being struck by lighting, then me doing you a favor?

Eddy: I did actually.

Edd: Oh... Well you are a friend of little faith.

Eddy: Why yes, yes I am. Thank you for noticing.

Ed: Hey guys could I play this one.

Edd: Don't see why not.

Eddy: One condition: It has to be on the hard setting for the whole game.

Ed:... Deal.

Eddy: Hahahahahahaha!

* * *

Skip over to Rage. They are driving the dune-buggy around the wasteland with fitting music to it.

Eddy: Nickelback rules.

Edd: It's true. When you're banging Avril Lavigne, you know you're doing something right.

Eddy: Blueballs.

Edd:... Thank you for sharing that with us Eddy.

Eddy: Anytime pal.

Found a bobble head that looks like the Fallout series mascot unlocking an achievement named Fallout Boy.

Eddy: That b*tch awesome!

Edd: These wasteland games have to stick together after all.

Eddy: Other wise it can be a very used and drawn out genre.

Edd: Exactly. Post-apocalypitic worlds are never over used... Just like zombies.

Found a secret room that is from Quake and has a trophy in it.

Eddy: There's just nothing wrong with this game. You can't go wrong with it.

Edd: I can't wait to see how it ends.

They watch the ending movie.

Edd: What!? That was bearly even half a game.

Eddy: Still not the worst ending.

Edd: We can't count your performance in bed.

Eddy: Hey... You're right.

* * *

Back to Quake. Ed has made it to the final boss, Shubb-Niggurath without losing a single life or taking any damage.

Eddy: I don't get it, he came in last place on Mario Kart set to easy mode every time.

Ed then wins suffering no damage and little waste of ammo.

Edd & Eddy:...

Eddy: What... The... F***?


	10. TBEP Alert

Welcome loyal reader. For nine b*tching chapters you have followed the Eds to the very end, requesting games and seeing where this went.

Eddy: Even we didn't know where it was all going.

But now you have the chance to make the story. That's right you decide who gets to stay for season two. Who will it be? Is it Edd with his I.Q. of infinity and looks like Jagger or Eddy who manage to go an entire Fanfic without punching a five year old girl in the throat?

Eddy: That recored is valid only if you don't count Double D.

Well you decide who goes and who stays.

Eddy: Not really since we're both going to be around for the second season.

But onto the real news. Begin!

* * *

1. The first Spinoff to the TBEP series will be up by this Friday. In it the Eds go up against their greatest match yet when they face off with their greatest rivals. But that's not all.

Edd: Shut the f*** up!

No I'm serious. To whom ever can guess who the Eds rivals are in the spinoff, then you shall be mentioned in the very beging of the story. If you have a guess then leave it in the review or PM me, but here comes the sucker punch, I'm not going to tell You if you're right or wrong.

Eddy: What a dick.

I sure am. Here's the name of the spinoff and the game their going to be playing. Here's a hint, the sister's name is in the game title.

Title: Eds vs. Sisters.

Game: Anarchy Reigns.

* * *

2. You all wondered where the big lug was, well here he is in Best Eds Brawl. By Saturday all the Eds will be getting back together just to tear each other apart... Not in the sexual way, but in the "One of us will be left standing" kind of way.

Ed: Let the pain rain!

Edd:... Your scaring me Ed.

Eddy: Just get to the next Spinoff already!

Okay!

* * *

3. What happens when the angry meets the scary? Well we'll find out when Edd and Eddy play Creepy games on Sunday.

Eddy: I'm all like come at me Slenderman!

Edd: You so were not. You were all like 'Oh man, I hope this ten foot twink doesn't have his sick way with me'.

Eddy: No that was you.

Edd: Oh.

Eddy: And besides Zombie's and Ghosts are never over used.

Edd: Only when misused like in Paranormal Activity.

Eddy: That movie was so... Boring!

Edd: I never finished it, I just fell asleep.

Eddy: We could make something scarier. Hell Bubbles could make something scarier.

Moving on.

* * *

4. Finally, you probably have been thinking "Well all these friends sure do hate each other, but surly they aren't this horrible to one another in their normal day to day lives." well you'd be wrong.

Eddy: It's true.

See the friends live with each other in The Best of Frienimies this Monday.

Edd: Well Eddy, I don't think there's any spinoffs left to make.

Goodbye readers see some time later this week. Not really because it's the Internet.


	11. Dragon Ball Raging Blast Two

Eddy: Dragon Ball Raging Blast Two.

Edd: Yeah.

Eddy: Hey Double D, how many times does your Dragon Ball have a Raging Blast?

Edd: Why two times a day.

Eddy: What a coincidence. I think I can do three a day but not entirely sure, never really tried.

Buttercup: That's the problem.

Eddy: F*** you!

Buttercup: Someone has to.

* * *

They go through the character selection.

Edd: Yeah, bout time we played a Goku game!

Eddy: He's an alright hero.

Edd: He's like the best ever.

Eddy: He's a Superman knockoff.

Edd: You take that back. He's the strongest one there is.

Buttercup: Was that by accident or on purpose?

Edd: What?

Eddy: You just stole he Hulk's catch phrase and used it for Goku.

Edd: I never heard of it until now.

Eddy: You're lying.

Edd: No I'm not.

Buttercup: But you are.

Edd: Nope.

Eddy: You are, you so freaking are.

Edd: No way man I hate comics and anime.

Buttercup: You probably just pissed so many people off right now.

Eddy: How could you hate anime when your hero is f***ing Goku!?

Edd: Because he's like King Kong and Superman in one. He can turn into a werekong.

Eddy: Eveytime you say words I wanna choke you like a puppy.

* * *

They pick their characters for a fight.

Edd: I got Goku Hahahaha!

Eddy: You can have him, he dies like in every fight he's ever been in.

Edd: But he takes his opponent with him.

Buttercup: Broly.

Edd: Well yeah there is him.

Eddy: Cell.

Edd: Okay there's another.

Eddy: Come to think of it, every guy Goku died fighting or failed to beat Gohan was the one who finished the job. He didn't even have to get all the power ups niether. Even anything Gohan is the strongest of the DBZ fighters, I'm picking him.

Edd: Yeah but who squeezed out the juices to make Gohan?

Eddy: The fact that you think of Goku that much is disturbing.

Buttercup: How do those guys, you know, do it? Thor, Superman, Goku. With normal human women.

Eddy: That's a good question. You ask the questions women want to know.

Edd: Well the woman probably does most of the work. Right?

Buttercup: Isn't it always the woman doing all the work in that situation?

Edd & Eddy:...

Eddy: Shut up.

* * *

Edd & Eddy begin the fight.

Eddy: Come at me bro, Come at me!

Edd: I'm coming hard!

Buttercup: There's something Blossom will never say about you.

Edd: There's lots of reasons for that being so.

Eddy: One being those sweet yams of hers being shoved in your face. How can you not last longer then thirty seconds?

Buttercup: You just love to have Blueballs every night, don't you?

Eddy: Ah come on, we all know you're the second hottest.

Buttercup: You're not helping your case here.

Edd: Well there is only two hot ones and then a cute one.

Eddy: True. What about the Powerpunk Girls?

Edd: Yeah, they're pretty hot.

Eddy: Like two point O versions. It's true what they say, sequels are better then the original.

Buttercup: You two just deserve an eternity of chasity.

* * *

Edd looses to Eddy.

Eddy: Once more, sequels are better then the original.

Edd: Goku was the last of the OG's. Sleep well sweet prince!

Buttercup: Personally, think they should've just continued the show with Gohan taking the main role.

Edd: But the series began with Goku. That would be like starting your show and then halfway through making it about the Rowdyruff Boys.

Eddy: They should have gotten their own spinoff.

Edd: Or a web series.

Buttercup: I'm just saying, Goku was dragged out for a while.

Eddy: You know what pissed me off about the series? It was that cr*p called Dragonball GT.

Edd: Oh... That series pissed me off so much. Why make the strongest Sayian evr into a child for the final series?

Eddy: You know what? I could've lived with that if, and only if, they didn't have that Punkass granddaughter of his on the series.

Buttercup: But she was a spunky, headstrong, tomboy.

Eddy: Who constantly caused more problems and got her a** though roily spanked... In the action meaning not in the kinky fun way.

Buttercup: You got a problem with Tomboy's, punk?

Eddy: Frankly, yeah I do. They all go running around, causing trouble and leaving their incredibly hot and cute sisters in the dust so they can wreak havoc on the town and slut it up.

Edd & Buttercup:...

Edd: Um... Wow, that just blew my mind.

Buttercup: Am so hot for you right now.

Eddy: Here or...

Buttercup: Here.

Edd: Im out of here. Ill be back in fifteen minutes.

* * *

14-15 minutes later.

Edd: So you guys all good now? You got it all out of your system?

Eddy: I know I did. How about you Buttercup?

Buttercup: Could've been better.

Eddy: Screw you!

Edd: Isn't that your job?

Eddy: Oh good point.

* * *

Now Edd gives the second controller to Buttercup. Her and Eddy pick their next characters.

Eddy: F*** it I pick piccolo cause why not?

Buttercup: I'M tripping out on Vegeta right now.

Edd: Why?

Buttercup: Him and Butch have the same hair cut.

Edd: Oh yeah. It's different in the anime.

Buttercup: That never happened.

Eddy: Because the world needed another magic girl anime with "Z" in the title.

Edd: It seemed like I was supposed to aroused but it didn't work.

Eddy: It felt Wrong whenever I was.

* * *

Eddy &. Buttercup begin their fight.

Eddy: You're about to do the one thing you can't do right Buttercup, you're going down.

Buttercup: I do it a lot better then you do.

Eddy: That's still open to debate.

Edd: It's as open as your mom is with me.

Eddy: So never.

Buttercup: I was thinking more like, barely. She can barely be opened by him. Just like Blossom says about him.

Eddy: Ha! Girls talk about everything.

Edd: That means they talk about you too.

Eddy: Hey, girls talk about me at least.

* * *

Buttercup beats Eddy and goes up against Edd. Back in the character selection.

Eddy: Took me forever to find out if Freeza was a boy. Like what's with the gender bender alien.

Edd:Well technically there isn't anything down there. He's just an it.

Buttercup: Awww... Just like Him. I'm picking Cell.

Eddy: Another villain that got me asking why. Why was British?

Edd:... Why not?

Eddy: That's the best answer I've ever heard.

* * *

The fight begins.

Buttercup: Both of you will be beaten by a girl today.

Edd:... Who's the girl?

Eddy: Oh... Snap! You got burned.

Buttercup: That's it. I'm finishing this.

Buttercup beats Edd.

Edd & Eddy:...

Buttercup: Girls pown all.

Edd: Oww, my pride.

Eddy: I'm so ready for round five right now.

Buttercup: Finally.

Edd: I think we should end here... right... About... Now.


	12. Assassin's Creed: Ezio Trilogy

They begin with Assassin's Creed two.

Eddy: Does any one know the plot to this game?

Edd: Yeah. You play as Desmond who is being hooked up to this time machine, TARDIS, memory scanner thingy and he becomes like one of his ancestors who just so happened to be apart of this cult that just snuffs guys they don't agree with.

Eddy: Oh so they're politics?

Edd: Yes. And all of this one guys ancestors turned out to be the major player in the history of events that lead to the climax of the game.

Eddy: And it's to my understanding that Optimus Prime is featured in this series?

Edd: That's only in the first one and even the creators of the new series are all like, 'Oh we just scrapped that idea'.

Eddy: They just quit!?

Edd: Yeah, they're quitters.

Eddy: It's unamerican!

Edd: Yeah but it's probably for the best.

Eddy: Have you ever played the first one?

Edd: I haven't even heard of it until this one came out.

Eddy: So you haven't played it yet?

Edd: Me and about the rest of the world.

Eddy:... Fair enough.

* * *

They begin with Desmond and Lucy making their escape from the Templars.

Eddy: Now this is just sad. When you need a girl to bail you out and do the fighting, without jello or mud involved, that's when you finally realized all masculinity has fled from your body.

Edd: All my masculinity leaves my body and into your mom every night.

Eddy: I will get a girl with awesome tits, like Lucy, and have her tear you a new.

Edd: Those are pretty good tits.

Eddy: But don't look at her face. They didn't spend nearly as much time on her face.

Edd: All in all, I give her a solid six.

They arrive at the headquarters of the Assassin's.

Edd: Just look at Lucy's swag when she walks. She's all like yeah I know you're checking my butt out but that doesn't mean I'll acknowledge you.

Eddy: Could they make her walk any more hip to hip?

They meet the rest of the team.

Eddy: I just love how everyone in this room couldn't be anymore of a stereotype. You got the Tomboy, the angry British guy, and the eye candy chick.

Edd: At some point people just stop caring about stereotypes and just go with it.

Now on the mission Nightcap.

Eddy: Yeah! Its about time I get my d*** wet.

Edd: D**n them for not going anywhere with this couple.

They arrive at Christina's place.

Eddy & Edd: Oh!

Eddy: First goes the skirt, then goes the pants, and then comes a booty call that you'll never have to redial again.

Edd: Oh! Your messed up in the head.

Eddy: Well I'm got my run out of this game, moving on!

* * *

Now playing Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. they just skipped to free roaming.

Edd: Watch this. I'm going to snuff the guard by hiding in this hey bail.

Kills a citizen instead.

Edd: Oh s****!

Eddy: Great hero work.

Edd: It was an accident.

Eddy: You wanted to kill the goon that works for the bad guys and instead killing the average joe who was just minding his own business. Way to go.

Edd: I didn't mean too.

They begin to get annoyed with running into the wrong direction and killing the wrong people.

Edd: D**n it! I hate this game! I'm turning it off.

Eddy: No! That's what it wants. If you turn it off now then it wins.

Edd: You're right. I'm going to make Ezio kill himself.

Climbs one of the tallest buildings in Rome to the very top.

Edd: On top of the world Ma!

Eddy: Now jump. End this.

Edd: With pleasure.

Jumps but lands safely in a hay bail.

Edd: What the f***!?

Eddy: You can't do anything right in this game. You can't even kill yourself when you want to.

Edd: It's not my fault.

Eddy: It's completely your fault.

Edd: You think you could kill yourself better? Here then.

Eddy: I'll kill myself. I'll kill myself way better then you can ever do.

Edd: I'd do myself any way any day.

Edd & Eddy:...

Eddy: That's what you think?

Edd: Shut it.

Eddy has Ezio attack to guards and leaves Ezio to be killed.

Eddy: There. See? That's how you kill yourself and take some f***ers with you at the same time.

The guards just stand there and do nothing but hold their swords out.

Edd: So how's that Ezio suicide going?

Eddy: Shut it.

One of the guards attacks only once and Ezio's health chart refills before any of them attack again.

Eddy: Ezio is the f***ing boss. That sword to the face just made him stumble back a little.

Edd: Why is it that when you want to kill someone in this game you have to fight tooth and nail against all these knights but when you want someone to kill you you'll never even get a scratch? Why?

Eddy: F*** this Mother f***ing game, mother f***er!

Two missions later.

Eddy: Yes! Yeah! This is the beast game ever!

Edd: This is the greatest thing ever made, ever!

Eddy: I wanna have Ezio's babies!

* * *

Moving on to the third and final game, Assassin's Creed: Revelations. They arrive at the underground city level.

Eddy: What the Hell? Are people really this stupid?

Edd: What are you talking abut man?

Eddy: A city built under a hallow mountain right next to the ocean? Really?

Edd: No that's prime real estate right there buddy. You see you got the giant stalactite hanging over the entire village to pull the room together. The ocean for that cool breeze smell and, as long there isn't a full moon, no need to worry about drowning... Just watch out for pirates.

Eddy: Yes and by no way would any one ever be a d*** enough to start a fire and smoke all these good people out of their homes just to settle a score with someone.

Edd: That's right.

They reach the point where they start a fire in the cave.

Edd & Eddy:...

Eddy: Wow... Ezio's a d***.


	13. CN Games

Eddy: It is impossible for someone to make so many horrible games and never give up on making them.

Edd: Well now we never gave up on our endeavors no matter how obvious the failure was destined to be.

Eddy: Yeah but we we're kids. These are adults who have nobody else to blame for how pathetic they are.

Edd: You know the good thing about not being on Cartoon Network now is that we could say all the s*** we want about them and they can't stop us.

Eddy: We don't even need to say it, everyone knows already. They even know, they just are all like 'Yeah we know we came along and f***ed up a golden company, killed a legacy and ruined a generation but that doesn't mean we won't stop rerunning episodes of Adventure Time and every show that had only a two week air time in their entire life span.'

Edd: Can our childhoods at least have a cigar? Because they like a smoke after they get f***ed!

Eddy: These guys made our career their b***es and now we're gonna make their games ours.

Edd: So I was looking up the word 'Punk' one day and guess what it means.

Eddy: I don't know... Little brats that break your dreams and happiness?

Edd:... No. It actually means the guy who is the b*** in prison.

Eddy:... No way. Shut up.

Edd: It's true.

* * *

They begin with Cartoon Network Racing. Currently in the character selection.

Eddy: Where the f*** are we!

Edd: Like oh no don't add us. It's not like Ed wasn't elected The President of Cartoon City at one time or anything.

Eddy: They'll give f***ing Cow & Chicken their own spot but not us? Does anyone of this generation know or remember Cow and/or Chicken? Anyone!?

Edd: Looking back on it I'd say its content was kind of... If'y.

Eddy: Well yeah it got as weird as s*** but look at the stuff they'll put on the air now day.

Edd: Lets play the characters people actually like. Moving on!

Eddy: Courage the f***ing dog!? This guy only had like four good episodes. Our worst episode would put his best to shame!

Edd: They even gave the old people a spot on this game.

Eddy: I'll just be the first of us to say it: I f***ing hate this game.

Edd picks Mojo Jojo and Dexter. Eddy picks Johnny Bravo and Carl.

Eddy: Why do I keeping teaming up with nerds!?

Edd: Because girls don't wanna come near you.

Eddy: And yet still get more tail then you.

Edd: Hey... Your right.

Eddy wins the first game.

Eddy: Wow that game was really, incredibly, a waste of my time.

Edd: Ah come on man you can unlock the sidekicks that nobody cares about and get the most boring episodes.

Eddy: You done here?

Edd: Lets just move on to the next game.

* * *

They move onto Cartoon Network: Punch Time Explosion.

Eddy: Again, where are we? Were we not like the longest running show on Cartoon Network?

Edd: It's not like that we don't have a legion of awesome and loyal fans who will fiercely defend us against our critics or anything.

Eddy: Yeah, it's not like Cartoon Network hasn't had a marathon of our show for two days straight ever at a point in their history or anything.

Edd: We set legendary moments in Cartoon history and they just scrapped us like trash.

Eddy: Well as you know Double D, Cartoon Network usually makes the right call.

Edd: Hahaha!

They go to character selection.

Eddy: You gotta be f***ing kidding me! They have this sailor boy named after a breakfast lunch who's show had like only two episodes before being canceled but not us!?

Edd: At least they don't have Adventure Time guys.

Eddy: Well yeah there's that. Hey kids, if you have a friend that actually likes Adventure Time or any of these CN era shows, then punch them square in the d***.

Edd: Yeah! Because you have a bad friend right there.

Edd picks Mac & Bloo as his characters. Eddy chooses Billy & Mandy.

Eddy: My team can kick your team's a**.

Edd: Come at me bro!

Eddy wins the second game.

Eddy: Haha! Suck it!

Edd: You know, you're tough when it is just you and me but how will you fair with others tossed into the mix?

Eddy: I'd probably make them my b***es too.

* * *

Now entering the frame is the sisterly duo, Bubbles and Buttercup.

Eddy: How come Blossom never plays with us? We need someone who is actually hot around here.

Buttercup: Shut your motherf***ing mouth!

Eddy: F*** you!

Edd: This no time for your guys sick foreplay.

Eddy: Oh right.

Buttercup picks herself. Bubbles picks herself. Edd picks Blossom. And finally Eddy picks Samurai Jack.

Bubbles: Aw, we we're so cute back then. Weren't we Buttercup?

Buttercup: Of course not! I was tough and fierce.

Eddy: How did puberty give you girls hands and feet!? I don't see that happening.

Buttercup: Yeah you don't get to see a lot of stuff involving the girls body.

Edd: Representing Blossom ya all.

Eddy: And she still doesn't give you any.

Edd: F*** you!

Eddy: That's what Buttercup is for.

To everyone's surprise Bubbles wins.

Eddy: What the Hell? I was all Samurai Jacked out.

Buttercup: You are nothing like uncle Jack. In fact, you're more like creepy uncle Jack.

Bubbles: We don't have a creepy uncle Jack.

Edd: It's a joke.

Bubbles: Oh.

Eddy: Whatever, this just proves my point in these games being total c***. But you know the one that is awesome?

Edd: Billy and Mandy's?

Eddy: Well yeah but that's basically this game with good characters. I'm talking about a game with adventure, action, drama and brilliant graphics.

* * *

Now playing Ed Edd N' Eddy: The Mis-Edventures.

Edd & Eddy: Ed You & Me: The Mis-Usvnetures!

Eddy: See now this is a game. We got the hidden costumes, secret levels, reply value is constant and all characters included.

Edd: Each voiced by our normal voice actors.

Eddy: Yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this game at all and that's a completely unbiased review.

Buttercup: Say what you want, we're the ones with a new series coming back this year.

Bubbles: Google it kids.


	14. Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe

Eddy: It's the game you've all been waiting for...

Edd & Eddy: Final Fantasy! It... Sucks!

Edd: Boo! Final Fantasy!

Eddy: On to the real game.

* * *

Now on the opening scene of Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe.

Edd: Okay, you and I both know there is no way we can play a crossover game and not do a special event.

Eddy: There is also no way we can do this alone.

Edd: We know what we must do.

* * *

One time only!

Edd: We think, depends on how successful this idea is.

One game shall unite all of the cast to turn on each other and tear one another apart.

Edd: With video game violence that is.

Let the virtual blood begin to spill!

* * *

Round one, Ed vs Stocking.

Edd: Check out these characters. Nerdgasam!

Stocking: Thats the only satisfaction you ever experience. Isn't it?

Edd:... Yes.

Ed: Death Stroke! He f***ing owns the Teen Titans.

Stocking: And what would be his equivalent for the other team?

Ed: I guess either Baraka or Kano.

Edd: Remember when he was on Arkham City: Lockdown?

Ed: Kano?

Edd: Hell yeah, motha loving Kano.

Eddy: No that was us who discovered that.

Edd: Oh. Well see Ed, Eddy stresses me out so much my mind naturally blocks him out and replaces him with you.

Eddy: F*** you!

* * *

Death Stroke vs Kano. Begin!

Ed: It's just you and me now miss socks.

Stocking: Not that type of foot wear.

Ed: You'll just be the gunk on my foot by the time I'm finished with you.

Stocking: Fascinating.

Ed: Why aren't you mad? Be mad while I kill you.

Stocking: I'll try my best.

Death Stroke wins both rounds and preforms the fatality.

Ed: What now b****!?

Stocking: Yeah. You sure beat me.

Ed: F***! Be mad! I won, you lost! Throw a tantrum already!

Eddy: Lets just move on.

* * *

Edd: Hey there folks. We at TBEP have a new strictly me segment where I come in and do a random, shameless, advertisement and some other time wasting s***. Today's Sponsor is "Danny's Meat", for the meat that you just can't stop filling your mouth with.

* * *

Round two, Bubbles VS Panty.

Bubbles: So you think you anime f***ers can still our genre huh?

Panty: What?

Bubbles: Well I won't allow it. You're going down. I'm not going to fight you, I'm going to f*** you up.

Everyone:...

Eddy: Well clearly this is between the two of you.

Panty: And I thought she was my blonde sista.

* * *

Bubbles as Catwoman vs Panty as Kitana. Begin!

Bubbles: I just love kitty cats.

Eddy: It's something about that Tara Strong voice of hers that feels me with a indescribable, blinding rage. I don't know why.

Panty: F***! At least let me get a punch in.

Bubbles: F*** you!

Panty: Yeesh man, alright. Take it easy. Why did I get the psycho?

Free fall fighting. Bubbles is winning.

Panty: D*** it! Easy up already!

Bubbles: You gonna cry now knockoff?

Panty: ... No.

Another free fall fight with Bubbles winning.

Panty: F***!

Eddy: Hahahahaha!

Bubbles: Take it.

Panty: F*** these motherf***ing free falls!

Bubbles wins.

Bubbles: That's what happens when you mess with the OG's b****.

Panty: I never knew the true meaning of fear until today.

Blossom: How come you guys never ask me to play any games?

Eddy: We didn't know we needed to. We told Buttercup and Bubbles to tell you.

Edd: We thought this whole you didn't want to.

Blossom: What!?

Eddy: Hahahahahahaha!

Blossom: What's so funny?

Eddy: Auto correct just spelled "69" right as Double D was talking to you. Hahahaha.

* * *

Edd: Hey guys. Double D last of the OG's is here once more with another sponsor, "Eddy's Mom". Now folks we guarantee ya that she is clean and slightly used. She did give birth to the son of the beast himself but is really fun and cheap.

* * *

Round three. Edd vs Blossom.

Edd: Okay, now you need to pick a character and then win the next two rounds.

Blossom: I know how to play a video game.

Eddy: Really? Because we never see you have any fun.

Blossom: You never get to see any girl have any fun, do you Eddy?

Eddy: Yeah I made your sister have plenty of fun last night.

Edd: Just like me with your mom.

Eddy: Really!? You say another one of those?

Edd: Yes.

* * *

Blossom as Wonder Woman vs Edd as Jax. Begin!

Eddy: Why did you pick Jax?

Edd: Because he's f***ing American! He all holds out the flag when he wins and everything.

Eddy: Wonder Woman is American too.

Edd: No she's not.

Blossom: She wears a red top with a lower blue half covered in white stars.

Edd: But she isn't from America.

Eddy: Jax is from another dimension.

Edd: He's a patriot version of Doctor Who.

Eddy: Just... Just shut up and loose to a girl already.

Edd: I can't loose. I got robotic arms. That's the power of American engineering Eddy.

Eddy: Oh then you for sure will loose.

Blossom wins.

Edd: Oh no. America killed me.

Eddy: You lost to a girl! How!? Why!?

Edd: F***ing shut your motherf***ing mouth...

Eddy: F*** you! F********* Youuuuuuuuu!

Blossom: Im out of here.

* * *

Edd: Hey folks. Last advertisement for today. We, the gents down here at TBEP, would like to give an life time achievement award to Blossom Utonium for inspiring so many boys to draw awesome pics of her in their later years and helping them through their development period. Mmmmm. Just love those legs. I'd like to take that and...

* * *

Final round. Eddy vs Buttercup.

Eddy: This is the match everyone was waiting for.

Buttercup: It's finally Buttercup vs Eddy. Who is faster and who is deadlier?

Eddy: Eddy vs Buttercup.

Buttercup: What?

Eddy: Just correcting your views on who is really at the top credit.

Buttercup: I... I just love how much I hate you.

Eddy: I know.

* * *

Eddy as Superman vs Buttercup as Raiden. Begin!

Eddy: Superman is the most American thing on Earth.

Edd: Is there an America off of Earth?

Eddy: Shut up you know what I mean.

Buttercup: He's more American then Captain America?

Eddy: Well...

Buttercup: G. ?

Eddy: He...

Buttercup: Optimus Prime!?

Eddy: He's not even from Earth. He's an illegal.

Edd: Hey there is something American not from America!

Eddy: Wait Superman is from another world too.

Edd: How could we forget the most vital part of his storyline?

Buttercup: Didn't he even renounce his citizenship eventually?

Ed: Not before black Nick Fury can bring him back into the game by forming the ultimate team ever made ever.

Edd: What the hell? Where did you come from?

Panty: We've been here the entire time.

Blossom: None of us left.

Edd: Oh.

They now fight over the tie breaker.

Eddy: Superman is never going down.

Edd: He's the last of the Kryptonians.

Ed: He's the last of the OG's!

Eddy: 'Has anyone seen the size of my d***? It's enormous.'

Ed: Hehehehe.

Edd: 'It's bigger then you'd imagine but smaller then you'd hope.'

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Edd: Why the hell are we even talking about this?

Eddy: I don't know Hahahaha.

Eddy wins and preforms the fatality.

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!

Buttercup: Raiden.

Eddy: Suck it Goku!

Edd: F*** you!

Eddy: I can't hear you over the cheers of my victory.


	15. Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3

Eddy: Yeah Naruto! It's not like he was the cause for Toonami's cancelation at all.

Edd: Yeah. Everyone who compares it to Dragonball Z, I just laugh at them.

Eddy: It's no different then a car versus a turtle on the highway.

Edd: Yeah, a turtle without a shell that is.

Eddy: At least we can now live out our fantasy of being a loudmouth, short tempered, blonde ninja wearing a blindingly bright orange jumpsuit.

Edd: Stealth is for b****es!

* * *

Watching the opening scene with the Nine tailed fox.

Eddy: A nine tailed fox. Ha! Cause that's what I think of when I picture the image of ultimate evil is a fox with eight more tails then its supposed to have.

Edd: I don't know man. Bing like twenty stories tall kind of helps with its fear factor.

Eddy: Not when you could punch wholes through mountains and shoot lasers from your hands.

Edd: Well yeah.

* * *

Now begin their first level play through.

Eddy: Hero or Legend?

Edd: We kind of know how the Fox's story ends.

Eddy: But then you gotta stop it to fit the series.

Edd: You saying hero?

Eddy: Im thinking hero.

They pick hero.

Edd: If you could have any power from this show only, what would it be?

Eddy: Probably that one that could make more copies of me. Mainly because then I'd have an reasonable guy to talk to when I need to.

Edd: Huh. I would of thought you'd pick the one that turns you into a sexy girl version of you.

Eddy: See I would have picked that one, just so I could perv on myself but then I realized that then I'd have no d***.

Edd: And what's the difference between that and now?

Eddy: F*** you!

Edd: Thats what your mom is for.

Eddy: Anyways, the last thing I want to be is a girl anyways. I've got it made pretty good as a man.

Edd: I don't know man, being a girl seems pretty good right now. You could just get some guy to do all your work, party like a California Gurl, dress in whatever you want and all you gotta do is...

Edd & Eddy: Not be fat!

Eddy: Yeah but your over looking one major thing my formal acquaintance is Avril Lavigne.

Edd: Oh d***, I forgot about her.

Eddy: Yeah. You'd never be able to perv over her ever again.

Edd: I could play for the same team.

Eddy: Youd still never get the satisfaction you would be looking for.

Edd: Man how do we get into conversations like this?

Eddy: I don't know. The reader all tells us to play these tripy games and we just think of the weirdest things to say about it.

Edd: I blame the writer and his sick mind. Like have you read his other stuff?

* * *

Edd: Hey everyone it's another one of our Edvertisments coming at ya. Today we wanna do a little shout out to another story called "Fairy Tail: Truth or Dare" by Issydragonheart. I know what you're thinking, Edd why advertise someone's else's story?, because we can and pulse this particular story features our own writer as one of the hosts in.

* * *

Now fighting their first boss.

Edd: See Eddy. It's all about believing the heart of the cards.

Eddy: Heart of the cards? Are you talking about Yu- Gi- Oh?

Edd: ... Yes.

Eddy: You're d*** right you're talking about Yu- Gi- Oh!

Edd: That is easily the most memorable anime I've ever watched.

Eddy: I like how no body in the series ever addressed how he went from the cute little dwarf to that sexy beast in the blink of an eye just by yelling his name.

Edd: Seto did. In the first episode he was like 'WTF?' but stopped questioning it once they started the duel.

Eddy: Seto was the old Kabia brother right?

Edd: Yes. And Mokuba, I think that's how you say the name, was the young one.

Eddy: The one that looked like a girl?

Edd: Yes.

Eddy: Hehe. 'Hey Mokuba, anyone ever mistake you for a girl?'

Edd: 'No. Why? Have you?'

Edd & Eddy: Hahahahahahaha!

* * *

Naruto yells his catchphrase 'Believe It!' After winning.

Edd: What a stupid thing to yell all the time.

Eddy:... Really!?

Edd: What?

Eddy: After every time you've yelled America after playing a Japanese or European made gameplay for no f***ing reason and you're complaining about this dumba** blonde yelling Believe It after winning a fight?

Edd: There's a difference.

Eddy: What? What could possibly be the difference between the two of you?

Edd: I'm a patriot.

Eddy: He's a ninja.

Edd: But not a patriot.

Eddy: Thats like the Japanese equivalent to a patriot.

Edd: What about Snake Eyes?

Eddy: Well okay. There's him.

Edd: And Deadpool?

Eddy: Got me there.

Edd: Deathstroke?

Eddy: Alright already! You were right. I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong.

* * *

Nearing the final level.

Edd: What do you have against anime anyways?

Eddy: Because man. Anime killed my parents.

Edd: Now you're The Edman.

Eddy: 'Where is he!? Where's the Dorker!?' Hehe but no in all seriousness I only like so many anime's.

Edd: Like what?

Eddy:... I can't think of any. It's like when someone asks you what's your favorite book and you forget every book you've ever read?

Edd: No I don't read that much.

Eddy: You know what is better then any Comic, Anime, and Game?

Edd & Eddy: DOCTOR WHO!

Edd: Thats easily my favorite hero.

Eddy: With all the assistants he gets I'm surprised he hasn't repopulated the Time Lords.

Edd: Gets so much tail it's insane!

Eddy: I'm fanning out!

Edd & Eddy: Long live the Whovians!

* * *

Edd: Double D here once again ladies and the other half I don't wanna bang. Before we can get any hate mail I'd just like to name a anime even Eddy likes which is, Problem Children are coming from another world aren't they?, it's oddly entertaining.

* * *

Edd: You know we have so much ideas for characters I'm sure we can make a comic book or anime with one of our ideas.

Eddy: I got one. It's about a hero who fights villains and his name is Mr. Big D*** and he fights villains with enourmus d***. in addition he fights the Evil Dr. Butt Hurt.

Edd: Does he even have a butt?

Eddy: It is the biggest butt and it gets beaten by D*** every day just like your moms.

Edd: Oh no after like nine yo mama jokes you finally get one in.

Eddy: Why aren't you mad? Be mad while I mock you.

Edd: Oh I'm so mad. Lets settle this one on one.

Eddy: Just like I do with your mom.

* * *

Now playing versus mode. Edd as Naruto vs Eddy Saske.

Edd: Yeah, I'm the main guy.

Eddy: So? I'm the cool guy at least. That's like twice the going rate.

Edd: Oh no, you suck.

Eddy wins.

Eddy: Yes I win! I won this anime game thing.

Edd: Thats right Eddy. You've got the best hair.

Eddy: Thats it I'm out of here.

Edd: What you going to do?

Eddy: What do you think?

* * *

Edd: Final result. D*** Mr. Big D***! There's no one else!


	16. Bioshock Infinite

In the boat at the begging.

Edd & Eddy: Yay.

Edd: Im on a boat finally.

Eddy: A bioshock game that takes place above water finally.

Now entering the lighthouse.

Edd: Why don't you stop and look around for some important stuff man?

Eddy: Because I already have what I need, a gun.

Edd: That is a game changer.

They solve the bell ringing puzzle, like that was hard, and listen to the rings from the sky.

Edd & Eddy: Whoa!

Eddy: Apparently God does not want us to be playing this game.

Edd: You think?

Eddy: How does this not attract more attention?

Edd: Shouldn't sailors be making like fabricated tales of the day the sky turned red and sent like some super secret bell language?

They circle the seat of the rocket.

Eddy: Okay. Guess I gotta take a seat.

Edd: Oh dude no. There's like a rule of not getting into chairs that strap you down in an abandon lighthouse.

Eddy: Thats an oddly specific rule.

Edd: You'd be surprise how much it happens.

The seat turns into a rocket and they ready for take off.

Edd: What did I just tell you!?

Eddy: Relax, I still have my gun.

They loose the gun.

Edd: What was that?

Eddy: Shut up.

* * *

They arrive at the fair in the first level and find the Handyman up on stage.

Character: He looks depressed.

Edd: Ya think?

Eddy: I'd be depressed too if I was turned into a head on a machine and have these giant robot hands.

Edd: You'd be like robocop meets the Thing though.

Eddy: And yet the lonely days would be so very much more lonelier.

Edd: So you get lonely that often?

Eddy: Dho shut up. You're just a dumb butt lord.

Edd: Lord of your moms butt. And he retakes the lead!

Eddy: I will hit you.

* * *

Too the part where they have to decide who they will through the 77th baseball at.

Eddy: What the hell?

Edd: Oh that's right, it's like in the eighteen hundreds. Jungle fever wasn't excepted back then.

Eddy: Hey, watch me Babe Ruth the host guy.

Ready to through the ball at the host only to be stopped by security.

Eddy: Wait! So my choice doesn't even matter?

Edd: It never does.

The shoot out begins.

Eddy: I don't have a gun! What do I do?

Edd: You shank them with that wheel hook thing.

Eddy gets gunned down.

Eddy: No. Booker.

Edd: They gunned you down like a dog.

Eddy:... Who guns down dogs?

Edd: Just give me the controller already.

Eddy: Fine. Take it you stupid butt lord. See how far you get without me playing and you guiding me.

Edd: I'll probably get further then you.

Eddy: You probably will but then that makes hitting rock bottom all the more harder.

* * *

Edd makes it to the Fireman and just stands there getting hit by fire while doing nothing.

Edd: Ow. Ow. Ow.

Eddy: Booker's only weakness. Fire. Kind of works on anything though.

Edd: Doesn't seem to be working on Booker that much actually.

Eddy: Yeah, he's actually taking it like a boss.

Edd: You go Booker.

Eddy: That Booker is one bad Motha-

Edd: Shut your mouth.

Eddy: Im only talking bout Booker. Can ya dig it?

Edd: We can dig it.

* * *

They meet Elizabeth for the first time and get hit by the book.

Eddy: Taking it to the face!

Edd: Booker could literally walk through fire but a book to the face is where he comes up short.

Eddy:Look at Elizabeth's jugs.

Edd: 'Booker, we need you to go to the city of Rapture and bring back Elizabeth's sweet yams. Do you choose to except your mission?'

Eddy: 'Whats it pay?'

Edd: 'You have my permission to motor boat the package for a whole minute.'

Eddy: 'Jokes on you, I need only forty five seconds and I'm good.'

Edd: I'd take the job.

Eddy: And you'd die before you could even meet the fireman.

Edd: Don't be such a butt lord.

* * *

They meet Songbird for the first time.

Edd & Eddy: Ahahahahah!

Edd: What do I do?

Eddy: Talk to him! Talk to him with your gun!

Edd: It's the Big Daddy who saw his parents get gunned down right in front of him in the middle of an alley way at night after a play they just saw and now stalks the night searching for justice.

Eddy: 'I'm Bird Man!'

Edd: 'Where's is she? Where's the knockers?'

Edd & Eddy: Dadadadadadadada Songbird! Songbird!

* * *

Now they go into a series of events that's too difficult to describe. Similar to the demos you'll find on YouTube.

Eddy: I love the smell of steampunk in the morning. Smells like victory.

Edd: Anything steampunk is awesome. You've got the Bishock series, Hellboy, Johna Hex, Gundam, That one Transformers "What If" comic series.

Eddy: But there's also the down side to steampunk. Like Wild Wild West and Final Fantasy.

Edd: Yes, we all got our dark secrets that stain our hands for the rest of our lives. Like you and you dozens of STDs.

Eddy: Your mom said she was clean.

Edd:Oh no. You got me again even though I get all the girls like that one reviewer said, thumbs up to you Supersaiyan3goku.

Eddy: Yeah, he like just totally called me out. Whatever man I'm just going to listen to my Linkin Park and think about how in the end it didn't even matter.

Edd: Im going to listen to my main band Nickelback and think about 'The hottie with the million dollar body...'

Edd & Eddy: 'They say its over budget but you pay her just to touch it, Come On!'

Edd: Thats like Panty's theme song right there.

Eddy: No. Her them song would be Bad Girlfriend by Theroy of a deadman.

Edd: It so would be. Why hasn't anyone made a YouTube video of either of those yet?

Eddy: If you plan on making that video contact us and tell us how b**** awesome it's going to be.

Edd: And be sure to mention this fic for credit and we'll advertise it.

Eddy: But really it's just about getting the story out there.

Edd: And seeing who has the gonads to make the video.

* * *

They get cornered by all their enimeis at once with a giant blimp firing pain down on them all at once while being beaten by a Handyman.

Edd: Oh s***! I'm fighting everyone! I'm going Goku on the city of Rapture.

Eddy: You're losing man! Give up!

Edd: Im not giving up. That's unamerican.

Edd dies.

Eddy: And now you're dead. You feel like a big man now?

Edd: Kind of. I mean I went out like an OG.

Eddy: No you didn't! You went out like punk a** b****!

Edd: One more try.

This time they make a run for it.

Eddy: Quick jump off that ledge.

Edd: What? No. Why?

Eddy: Your character will use that hook gun things and rail shooter his way out of there. What are you waiting for man jump!

Edd: No. It'll probably kill me.

Eddy: Are being f***ing serious? Just f***ing jump off the ledge!

Edd jumps only to plumet to his death.

Eddy: Ker-splat!

* * *

Edd: Hey there folks. Now I know I hadn't been making many advertisements in this chapter but there's a good reason for that. We got only one advertisement to leave you wanting more. It won't only blow your mind but it'll blow your soul. Here it is.

Coming Soon...

Injustice: Eds Among Us.

Edd & Eddy: Oh! Oh! Oh!

Edd: I think I'm in love!

Eddy: Someone get me a motherf***ing table to flip over!


	17. Injustice Gods Among Us

All of the Frienimies lounge around the mansion with nothing to do. Edd plays Batman: Arkham City. He's fighting Solomon Grundy.

Edd: Oh come on! Nooooo!

Eddy: Yeah. You died like a real OG... Not!

Edd: Hey Grundy is a tough dude to beat man.

Eddy: Not for Superman. No one can beat him.

Edd: Except for Batman.

Ed: And the Green Lantern.

Blossom: Wonder Woman would take all of your man heroes.

Eddy: She can take me first then all of you afterwards.

Edd: Ha! Wonder striper got nothing!

Bubbles: We met her once. Remember Blossom?

Blossom: Yeah. You said maybe some day we'll be as developed as her.

Eddy: She wasn't far off. Actually turned out better in my opinion.

Buttercup: I like the looks of this Hawkwoman.

Edd: We like the fact that you like the looks of other girls.

Buttercup: F*** you sock head!

Stocking: We all know Raven can just posses all of your heroes.

Ed: It would appear we are at an impasse.

Eddy: Right. We know what we need to do then. Double D, get the mini colosseum. I'll get the hamsters into their mini hero costumes.

Ed: I'll get the popcorn.

Brief: Can't we just play the Injustice game?

Eddy: The ginger had a good idea.

Edd: Well he does have some good ideas we just don't wanna listen to him because he's a ginger.

Eddy: My God we love stereotypes. Like how all Blondes are huge idiots and skanks.

Edd: It's true. And how all gingers have no soul.

Blossom: You two are going to hell.

Eddy: Already there babe. Lets start the fight!

* * *

First level of the story with Batman versus Deathstroke.

Ed: YES! You got my main man Deathstroke aka Slade Wilson, the OG Deadpool, fighting the dark knight in Arkham Asylum. If that's how they are going to start it then you know it's going to be an awesome game.

Eddy: Deathstorke is easily one of my favorite villains but he's just an evil Captain America.

Ed: You take that back!

Edd: Look at Hugo Strange in the background. Just observing. Like the HellValleySkyTrees.

Eddy: Yeah.

Edd: Hey. I through in a Mario reference. Someone give me a medal.

Now they move onto the Watchtower with Batman versus Bane.

Eddy: Is that the Martian Manhunter?

Edd: Is it?

Eddy: Thats Martian Manhunter. The watchtower, basically his home, is under attack and he just stands in the background watching and observing.

They beat Bane.

Eddy: Oh thanks for the help MM!

Edd: 'Don't Mention it Batman.'

Eddy: I was being sarcastic!

Edd: 'Whoa. Chill out BM. Just loosen up.'

Eddy: I told you not to call me that.

* * *

Moving onto versus mode. First up, Panty versus Stocking. Now in character selection.

Eddy: Check it. You got the JL, half of the Teen Titans, most of the Legion of Doom and these guys nobody cares about.

Edd: Mmm... Just check Raven out. Those grey legs go on forever. I'd like to take them and-

Panty: Im going to stop you right there nerdo. You, me and pretty much everyone here right now know that you'd never would even be acknowledged by goth chick like her. Just ask Stocking.

Stocking: It's true.

Edd: It's a fantasy. Why won't any of you just let me have this?

Eddy: I didn't even know you like goth chicks. I thought you were into punk girls.

Edd: Goth is just a spinoff of Punk.

The fight begins with Panty as Nightwing versus Stocking as Raven.

Panty: Well... Look who's all grown up and a stud now.

Eddy: He does look a lot better then he did in those tights. Where's his orange girlfriend?

Panty: Snookie?

Eddy: Ha! We just did topical humor. Thats team effort right there.

Edd: Raven is so lucky. She was born goth with her grey skin and purple robes. I have to use magic marker to color in my fingernails while I listen to Black Veiled Brides.

Eddy: I don't think the goths would except you.

Everyone:...

Eddy: Hehehe... That's probably the meanest thing I've ever said to anyone.

Edd: Now I'm sad.

Stocking: Yes Sockhead, you truly are.

Edd: I will burn this b**** to the ground.

Panty wins.

Panty: Yes! Big sis taking charge.

Stocking: You do realize we are just playing a game, right?

Panty: Oh d*** you're right. Lets get the hell out of here.

Eddy: Fine. Get out of here ya dumb buttlords. Who needs ya?

Edd: Now we only have the Powerpuffs to perv on.

Eddy: I call that a win.

Edd: Yeah it actually sounds much better to me.

* * *

Next match, Ed versus Bubbles.

Ed: All that matters is Superman Unbound.

Eddy: That was just on TV right now, wasn't it.

Ed: They literally just advertised it as this sentence was being written.

Eddy: I thought as much.

Edd: Just pick your characters already.

Ed: Fine! Oh geez. Who will I ever pick?

Eddy: Just pick your man crush already.

Ed: I don't k know who you're talking about.

Edd: Dea-

Ed: Unless its f***ing Deathstroke!

Edd: I was actually going to say Deadpool.

Ed: F*** Deadpool! Deathstorke is the best.

Eddy: You just pissed so many people off right now I don't even know the amount of hate mail were going to get now.

Ed: Come at me bros and none bros. I'll take you all on one at a time.

Edd: Thats what she said.

Eddy: Ha! You set yourself up. Who are you picking Bubbles?

Bubbles: This one.

Ed: Oh hell no.

Edd & Eddy: Hahahaha.

Eddy: You've got to. It's been decided.

Ed: Thats not fair.

Edd: Not fair. She just has her fists to work with. You've got like an entire military arsenal up your sleeve. Now get in that ring and fight her like a boss.

* * *

Second fight, arena Batcave, Ed as Deathstroke vs Bubbles as Doomsday.

Ed: Um... Do I really have to fight Doomsday because just a guy with an eyepatch here?

Eddy: You can kick and scream but sooner or later she's gonna bend you over and make you take it.

Edd: I have the strangest b***r write now.

Bubbles: Take it b****!

Bubbles slams Ed into the next arena as they watch the cinematic play.

Edd: It keeps going and going and going and going you get the rest.

Ed: A Duracell reference, that's rare. I forgot they even existed once in our life time.

Bubbles: You and the rest of America.

Eddy: This whole stage change sequence is like a bad Family Guy sketch.

Edd: Oh so like all of the Family Guy sketches?

Eddy: Pretty much. Seth McFarlane made this sequence and he just recycled it from an old script he wrote for Johnny Bravo.

Ed: He helped with Dexter too.

Bubbles: Thats why cousin Dexters show seems to be so repetitive all the time now.

Eddy: We've just made like three different shout outs because of this whole stage change.

Edd: We all should get medals for our work.

Ed is loosing the battle drastically.

Edd: You're loosing Ed.

Ed: You think I don't see that! I'm very much aware of how I'm doing in this fight.

Bubbles: Thats what you get for picking a lame character.

Ed: Lame character? He was voiced by Ron Perlman in Teen Titans! He should win just for that.

Eddy: 'Grr...! I've killed Superman. Rorar!'

Edd: 'I was voiced by Ron Perlman.'

Eddy: 'You win.'

Ed: I just know, Deathstroke is unbeatable.

Eddy: Alright Ed, tighten your anus because I'm about to tell you something that will blow your d*** mind. Your hero, Deathstroke, is a pedo.

Ed: No way. Shut up.

Eddy: He banged his apprentice, Tera when she was fifteen. I'm not making this up, Wikipedia it people.

Ed: No!... Deathstroke, you've could've done so much better.

Edd: I don't know, Tera is pretty hot actually.

Bubbles: She does have certain appeal about herself.

Eds: ...

Bubbles wins.

Bubbles: Too easy.

* * *

Edd: And I'm back. This time we are going to advertise something that doesn't exsist yet. Deathstroke the video game and/or movie. It's only possible if you, the fan, troll and pester your local DC fan club and website and however else you can contact them people. Don't give them a moment to breath. Together we will see Deathstroke on the silver screen or pexilized.

* * *

Match three, Blossom versus Buttercup. (Thumbs up if you wanna them to mud wrestle for a rematch)

Eddy: Alright! The hot ones finally get to work on each other.

Edd: They live with us and we still bearly get any. What's with that?

Buttercup: Why are we playing this? Where's Spawn?

Ed: He's Top Cow.

Edd: Your mom was the top cow.

Eddy: What does that even mean? The cow was on top and you were the under?

Edd: It was so unpleasant. I think I even started to cry.

Eddy: Id cry to if I had make love to what was basically Eds first apartment.

Ed: Oh screw you guys. You wish you could get a girl like my mom.

Edd: You just can't win this argument Ed.

Ed: Well that's true.

Blossom: I shall pick a character that represents the power of womanly authority and beauty at the same time.

Eddy: Wonder Woman?

Blossom: Pretty much.

Buttercup: Ha! You picked a tool. I'm going Hawkgirl.

Edd: Any relation to Mike Hawk?

Buttercup: Oh yeah. Just that ever since his accident he never could get up without her help.

Eddy: Ha! That's my girl.

Buttercup: Not your girl.

Eddy: My formal friend with benefits and is actually able to act.

Edd: Ooowww a movie reference. We should do movies in a spinoff.

Eddy: Agreed.

The fight begins in the Fortress of Solitude. Blossom as WW versus Buttercup as Hawkgirl.

Eddy: Cat figh! Cat fight!

Edd: Meow.

Eddy: Why are you doing the sound effects? It's only hit when girls do that.

Edd: You know the first time the writer watched our show they thought I was a girl.

Eddy: Id think you were a girl in the first encounter too.

Edd: Dho, flutter you ya dumb buttlord.

Eddy: Flutter?

Edd: D*** autocorrect! It's the reason it takes so long to reales these.

Blossom: It's true.

Buttercup: Get over here!

Eddy: Finally, one of us made a Mortal Kombat reference. What did you, the reader, really not think we would mention the MK series in an Ed Boon made game?

Blossom and Buttercup enter into a Wager.

Eddy: Who will win?

Edd: Go Wonder tits!

Blossom & Buttercup: Oh!

Blossom wins.

Buttercup: F***!

Blossom: Haha! Pinkie in the house tonight.

Eddy: When's someone going to make a good Lemon fic of some sisterly love between the two of you?

Edd: I would pay for that.

* * *

Edd: You know what I've got to advertise this time people. Who? Who out there will make a PPG lemon fic? Look we'll help you just some one do it. Please.

* * *

Final round, Edd versus Eddy.

Eddy: And for the match you've all have been waiting for. The big man on campus versus the nerd that practically lives in a locker.

Edd: Thats just how everyone tries to stop my shine.

Eddy: Like Cthuga's shine.

Edd: Cthuga? The Cthulhu monster?

Eddy: Hell yeah!

Edd: Why isn't there a Cthulhu fighting game? If it wasn't for him there would be no Arkham Asylum.

Eddy: Thats just because all these comics and animes are just trying to block his shine.

Buttercup: Fight already!

Eddy: Fine!

Eddy as Superman versus Edd as Batman in Metropolis.

Eddy: The names Superman motherf***er! Maybe you've heard of me!

Edd: Grr... I'm Batman. Grr...

Eddy: Last son of Krypton about to drop you harder then an atom bomb.

Edd: Are you really trying to Rap Battle me?

Eddy: Yes.

Edd: Because that's awesome.

Eddy: I know right?

Edd: There should be just a fighting game of that.

Ed: Yeah boyyyyyyyyy!

Eddy: I forgot Flav even existed, again.

Edd: It's true. I want bling now.

Eddy: Me too.

Both are caught in a Wager.

Eddy: Oh! Who will win?

Edd & Eddy: Oh! Oh! Oh!

Eddy: Who won? Will you ever find out? Is the writer really that much of a d*** that he won't finish this chapter? Maybe they are. Find out next time on Two Best Eds Play.


	18. Mass Effect Trilogy

Eddy: Finally. I can live as a guy who just porks and kills his way out of a y situation.

Edd: Basically you're playing as yourself just in space.

Eddy: Basically.

* * *

The duo begin with Mass Effect one.

Edd: Play as the girl.

Eddy: Girls aren't mint to fight. They were mint to cook and clean.

Edd: You never say this when the Powerpuffs or Anarchy sisters are around.

Eddy: You're just never around when I say it and they're around.

Edd explains the history of the game to Eddy.

Edd: Okay. So it's 2183 and the Robocops like usurped the terminators for control of Earth. So man had to run into space thanks to Wayland industries and banged the Predator making all these super races.

Eddy: NONE OF THAT HAPPEND!

Edd: It so did.

Eddy: We can get sued for this s*** now.

Edd: No we can't!

Eddy: It's called false advertisement!

Edd: It's only false if you're lying. We can't lie we're just idiots.

Eddy: Youre so stupid. You were born stupid.

Edd: No I wasn't.

Eddy: The day you were born at the hospital, the doctor was all like to your mom 'This baby is so stupid. Why did you give birth to such a stupid baby? OMG you're so stupid for just giving birth to him.' And your mom was all like 'I know. He's just a dumb old baby.'

Edd: How would you know? You weren't there.

Eddy: ... I could've been. I didn't need to be there I just know it was like that.

Now they're shopping for weapons.

Eddy: So... We use credits as money now?

Edd: Yeah. Apparently your whole life's work will amount to nothing in the future.

Eddy: Pfft... Who cares about the future? It's about the here and now b****. So what if I may never get a laser gun that folds up on my back? At least any threat of being attacked by mecha-Cthulhu for my time period is light years away.

Edd: But the threat of being the punk in prison is entirely too real.

They get caught in the first shoot out and die instantly.

Eddy: You're so stupid.

Edd: You try.

Eddy: I will. I'm awesome.

Eddy just has Shepherd standing there while getting hit by lasers.

Eddy: Ow... Ow... Ow...

Now they just sit there while they ride the elevator.

Edd & Eddy: ...

Edd: This is the best game ever!

Eddy: Award winning material!

* * *

Edd: S'up boys and the gender group I'm too afraid to talk to in real life? I have very special guest with me for today's segment. Please welcome Isaac Quintain, Original Character of the week.

I.Q.: Hello there.

Edd: Now I.Q. I'm certain everyone is asking themselves, who are you?

I.Q.: Well I'm a creation of the writer and I appear in another story of his.

Edd: Good. Now it's my understanding that you are supposed to be a boy. Is that true?

I.Q.: ...

Edd: I'll take that as a definitely maybe.

* * *

Now starting part two. They step out of the elevator.

Eddy: It's finally over.

Edd: What's different? Why does it look different?

Eddy: Did it just skip a whole mission? F*** it lets continue.

They head to Omega.

Eddy: So this is like the Las Vegas of space?

Edd: Yeah! Space Hangover part infinity! It's exactly like the first billions.

Eddy: So this impending Armageddon is about to happen any second now and the universes only hope is busy trying to get some? That's my kind of hero!

Edd: He's brilliant.

Eddy: He's like 'If I'm going out I'm not going with a satisfied woman next to me.'

Edd: Thats how I'd wanna go but is the least likely way I will ever go.

Eddy: True.

They're first encounter with the Collectors.

Edd: Why do they call them the collectors?

Eddy: Because they're all like really lonely cat ladies who are trying to feel their cold, loveless life with meaningless objects. Like you when Blossom gives you blue balls.

Edd: Oh...

Eddy: Too close to home?

Edd: Kinda, we said we wouldn't mention that!

Eddy: I say a lot of stuff doesn't mean it's all true.

Edd: True.

Back on the elevator.

Edd: I hear they're making a simulated ride of this at E3 next year.

Eddy: The elevator simulation will run E3 next year. This is not an opinion, it is a fact of life.

* * *

Edd: And we're back with the OC of the week. Now I.Q., I hear one rumor about you that never seems to die down. Are you a virgin?

I.Q.: ...yes...

Eddy: I knew it!

Edd: Ah! Where'd you come from?

Eddy: Your mothers room.

I.Q.: Who's the angry guy?

Edd: I think he's off the wagon again.

Eddy: Yeah and you're both still virgins.

Edd & I.Q.: By choice!

* * *

They get off of the elevator.

Edd: Those elevators are like the Shang Ra La of space.

Eddy: We learn new things about ourselves every time we get out of there.

Edd: Growing up is fun. (Warning: Results may very)

They go down to Earth and run around.

Eddy: Look at that running animation. What is that?

Edd: It's like you're having a seizure on the move.

Eddy: When can we bang a green chick!?

Edd: Set phazers to impregnate!

They set a marker for one of their partners to head to but they don't even move.

Eddy: Get over here! Get over here! D*** it why doesn't anyone listen to me!?

Edd: What? You say something?

Meets the reaper armada for the first time.

Eddy: Oh s***! We're fighting the Darkside of the universe!

Edd: Robot squids! Japanese hantia, now with eighty percent more vibrating pleasure.

Eddy: For your mom.

Edd: Still more pleasure then you can give her.

Eddy: I give your mom pleasure every night.

Edd: Buttercup hasn't exactly said positive reviews about you.

Eddy: At least she has reports about me.

They're back on Earth and summon the giant worm to fight the reaper.

Eddy: Check it. Garboids.

Edd: If you've gotten any of the references we've made this chapter then contact us and tell us how awesome you are. If you don't then Wikipedia everything.

Eddy: It's times like these that would make having Megas XLR or Gurren Lagann useful on our team.

Edd: I still can't find any English Dub Gurren Lagann DVD's.

Eddy: What are you talking about?

* * *

Edd: So I.Q., for putting up with our all out attack today we'd like to give you this "OG OC of the week" trophy.

I.Q.: This is a nude picture of Tara Strong.

Eddy: Gimme dat s***!

Edd: If you have an OC that you want us to interview then PM us or something. Because we'll do it.

Eddy: Especially the ladies.

* * *

Reached the final level and just need to see how to end it now.

Eddy: Are you ready? This is the end you know?

Edd: What just happened? I went to the bathroom literally only three minuets ago.

Eddy: Yeah, I had this saved file already made and just quit the game we we're playing and went back to this one.

Edd: Thats clever.

Eddy: I know it is. I invented it.

Edd: Well lets see how this mofo ends.

Begins to glitch.

Eddy: What?

Edd: Hit it. It does this sometimes just hit the TV.

The screen comes back and the Star Trek game comes on.

Eddy & Edd: Noooooooooooooooooooo!


	19. DBZ Budokai 3

Eddy: Another Dragonball Z fighting game? Alright, fine lets get this over with.

Edd: Ive learned so much from Dragonball Z. Like yelling makes you stronger and if you can magically grow blonde hair and change your eye color to blue you will be unbeatable in a fight.

Eddy: Unless you're fighting The Man of Steel.

Edd: Dho... F*** you. That movie was...

Eddy: Awesome.

Edd: It was pretty awesome.

Eddy: Zod was so evil but had a reason to be. He's like the CEO of a hunger factory, you just gotta respect him! Yeah!

* * *

Both are now searching through the character roaster.

Edd:You know DBZ fighting games are cool and all, how it has all of the characters you like in it, but it just feels so limited.

Eddy: Uh hu. Like how you just fight and that's about it?

Edd: Yeah. Like let me do some training or run through an obstacle course or something.

Eddy: Give us a new foe straight from the video game.

Edd: Speaking of fighting games where's ones for like Transformers, G. , Dark Horse, Marvel without the CAPCOM...

* * *

Edd: Hey there folks. Your main man, Double D, here to announce a new web comic coming at ya. Name, Shards of Darkness: Of the Tomb and the Void. Where to go, Tumblr. There I did it, now do I get paid?

* * *

Eddy: Im playing as Vegeta. Because he's just as angry as me.

Edd: Your mom was angry with me last night.

Eddy: What does that even mean?

Edd: Hahaha.

Eddy: She was disappointed with your performance and scolded you for it?

Edd: She is a very difficult woman to please.

Eddy: Every woman is difficult for YOU to please.

* * *

Now for the fight. Eddy as Vegeta versus Edd as Goku.

Eddy:' Kakorat, you're going down. '

Edd: ' Yeah but not by you Vegeta. '

Eddy: ' Your mother gave birth to a fart! '

Edd: ' Your name sounds like V*****! '

Eddy: ' Grr... '

Edd: ' Grr... '

Then they just have the both of them stand there for along time.

* * *

Back in the roaster.

Edd: And Image comics, Top Cow comics, Shonen Jump, My Little Pony...

* * *

They fly towards each other and preform one attack each then stop and just stand there again.

Eddy: Keep in mind we need to stretch this out for five good, heart throbbing, pulse pounding episodes.

Edd: May take awhile for anything to happen.

* * *

Back in the roaster.

Edd: Point is, there is a lot of heroes that can get their own fighting game.

Eddy: The only hero that matters is Pimpsmahser.

Edd: Hahaha. Sounds like what I did last night.

Eddy: No thats just smashing. Blossom doesn't even let you touch her yet.

Edd: At least I don't loose the fight for the top.

Eddy: ...

Edd: What you got?

Eddy: ...

Edd: You got nothing.

Eddy: True. I don't have my virginty at least.

Edd: ...

* * *

Still standing there.

Edd: I vote for rebooting the franchise but all Gothic and noire. Can't you just imagine it?

Eddy: It would be the hypest! One question. Would everyone have leather then?

Edd: The best heroes always do. Isaac Quintain for example.

Eddy: Dont even start. Don't you f***ing start with that OC stuff.

Edd: Leather for heroes!

They attack each other again but then go back to standing still.

Eddy: Dude! This is getting boring lets fight already.

Edd: No. We have to do like the show.

Eddy: Fought!

Edd: What's "Fought" mean?

Eddy: F***ing auto correct!

* * *

Eddy: Will Eddy and Double D ever start the fight? Will the iPad stop beign such a b**** to Shaman? Why is Green Day a such a horrible band? Will these questions ever be answered? Find out next time on Two Best Eds Play.


	20. Red Dead Redemption

The Title screen.

Eddy: So... Any dumba** phrase or slogan you wanna yell out before we start?

Edd: Lets play? I don't know.

Eddy: Really? Of all your catchphrases and you can't think of any for this Fourth of July special?

Edd: Lets just play the game.

* * *

They now roam the countryside.

Edd: You're lost aren't you?

Eddy: No I'm not! Shut your mouth! I got lost at... Your moms house.

Edd: You get lost in the hallways of the mansion. I highly doubt you can find my moms house.

Eddy: I don't need to find it. The guy who drives the limbozine finds it for me.

Edd: Isn't my mom like in her late forties at this point? You really wanna say you tapped that?

Eddy: I'll tap you.

Edd: Eww...

Eddy: Shut it. It's not like that.

Edd: Lets never speak of this moment ever again.

Eddy: Agreed.

* * *

They travel the abandon (and possibly haunted) town of Tumbelweed.

Edd: So you think it's haunted?

Eddy: Na... Just a town down on it's luck and forgotten by the world.

Edd: Like Lemonbrooke?

Eddy: Exactly like Lemonbrooke. Bunch of mascot hating motherf***ers.

Edd: You suck Lemonbrooke! But please don't stop reading our story.

* * *

They run back and fourth on the border.

Edd: Check it. Now I'm in Mexico. Now I'm in America. Can you believe it?

Eddy: Are you sure there is nothing you want to say at this point?

Edd: It's cool? I don't know what you want from me.

Eddy: You kow exactly what I want from you you troll.

Edd: We said we'd never talk about that moment again.

Eddy: Not that!

* * *

They travel the forest in search for strange foes and animals.

Edd: Ah... Nothing like a good forest walk to calm your nerves.

Eddy: It sucks.

Edd: It does suck a tremendous load.

Eddy: Theres a pack a wolves if you wanna kill them or something?

Edd: Eh, you shoot a couple of them and the rest run away. It's no fun. Lets just go this way.

Eddy: Alright then. I'll just watch and se-

Edd & Eddy: WHOA!

A bear randomly attacks them from behind.

Edd: Where'd did that come from!?

Eddy: Da F***!?

Edd: He's circling back around! I can't take another hit like that! Eddy, what do I do?

Eddy: Shoot him! Shoot him his bear face!

Edd draws his gun and goes into bullet time marking his target as the bear is only a few feet away from him. He pulls the trigger.

Edd: AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


	21. NES & Genesis

Ed: Behold viewers! It is I, Ed, last of the OGs, here with my new best friend, Brief.

Brief: Hello.

Ed: We're filling in for Eddy & Double D who are like dead in another dimension or some s*** like that. I don't know, I kinda ignore evertything except for them missing. But fear not! We'll take good care of the series.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in the cracks of space and time.

Eddy: What is it Double D?

Edd: I feel as if a million readers just went "Blah!" In disgust of our series.

* * *

Ed and Brief play Sonic, Green Hill zone one.

Ed & Brief: Sonic Underground! Sonic Underground!

Ed: Something something...

Brief: I forget the rest of the words.

Ed: Poor Amy Rose just wants that blue Sonic d*** but just keeps getting... What's the equivalent of blue balls for girls?

Brief: I don't know.

Ed: I thought you of all people would've known.

Brief: Why me?

Ed: Are you serious? How long have you been trying to get in Pnty's pants?

Brief: I succeed at the end of season one.

Ed: Spoiler alert.

Brief: Yeah. Spoiler alert, my patience pays off.

Ed: Amy isn't so lucky though and neither are them Kanker skans fanboys and girls!

Their first fight with Eggman.

Ed: Why dose Sonic even need Tails? H can save the world all on his own.

Brief: Tails, the second biggest tool in video gaming history. Loosing only to Luigi.

Ed: Yeah and he wants to bang a plant girl.

Brief: Thats just weird.

Ed: I wonder what the kid would be like.

A unholy vision of a plant/fox hybrid then spawns into Eds head.

Ed: Still not the strangest thing I've thought of today.

* * *

Second game, Road Rash.

Ed & Brief: Yeah! Road Rash!

Ed vs Brief.

Ed: Ready! Set! Go!

Neither of them go.

Brief: I forgot how to even play this game.

Ed: I was hoping you would've remembered because I got nothing.

* * *

Third game, Contra. Ed & Brief vs aliens.

Ed: Kay, before we go in there lets use the code. Up. Up. Down. Down. Right left.

Brief: No it's left right.

Ed: No it's not.

Brief: Yes it is. I'm not making this up.

Ed: I'm not saying you're lying, I'm just saying you're wrong.

Brief: I will Wikipedia it if I have to.

Ed: Fine, go ahead ya dumb buttlord. Just don't get super butt hurt when you discover how wrong you are.

Brief finds the code.

Ed: Shut up.

* * *

Fourth game, Streets of Rage.

Ed: Okay, I'm the white guy.

Brief: And I'm... The... Girl. Great.

Ed: You're kinda hot now Brief. Hay what are you doing this Friday?

Buttercup: Im the black guy.

Ed: You would be.

Buttercup: Dho'. F*** you, you're just a dumb buttlord.

Ed: Hey I'm not the only one who can make that mistake.

A google image of the episode "Powerbluff" then appears showing a black guy posing as Buttercup with the phrase "Seems legit" underneath.

Ed: But wait, Buttercup! You're not dead!

Buttercup: Yes. Rumors of my death were greatly misconstrued. You know Ed? Like the fans who ship us together.

Ed: Yeah, you're too butch for me anyways.

Buttercup: Thats it. Get over here you sonuvab****!

Ed: Bring it!

Ed and Buttercup then begin to fight each other on the game leaving Brief to fight all of the enemies.

Brief: Um... Guys.

Ed triumphs but with only one life left.

Ed: You fought well girl.

Buttercup: Are you quoting Phantasm?

Ed: You catch on quick girl.

Buttercup: Nows not the time for you to be quoting movies that no one knows about.

Ed: I think there isn't a better time then now.

Brief: Even I forgot about that movie.

Ed: Oh! And you were safe Brief.

Ed begins to attack Brief.

Brief: What are you doing!? What are you doing!?

Ed: Hahahaha!

* * *

Fifth game, Donkey Kong.

Ed: You climb up the leader and jump the barrels.

Everyone stops talking for a moment while the game plays through.

Buttercup: This is going to revolutionize the way games are played.

* * *

Sixth game, Golden Axe.

Ed: Look at my big muscly guy.

Buttercup: Looks like a really bad knockoff of He-man.

Ed: Says the only girl on the team.

Buttercup: No Brief is the girl again, I'm the dwarf.

Ed: Really?

Brief: Sadly enough... Yes.

Brief gets a riding animal.

Brief: Hey check out my new bird everyone.

Ed: Correction. My bird.

Ed punches Brief off it.

Brief: Oh come on!

Ed: Suck it!

Too many times Ed was knocked off of the bird and it runs away.

Brief: Ha!

Ed: What the hell!?

Buttercup: Even the animals can't stand you.

Ed walks up behind Buttercups character.

Ed: Hey Buttercup. Remember this?

Ed punches Buttercups character.

Ed: Bam!

Buttercup: Oh come on!

Brief is out numbered by enemies while Ed attacks Buttercup.

Brief: Fine... Just end it already.


	22. Halo 4

Ed: Okay Brief. Lets play this game.

Brief: Won't be as fun without a total of four players.

Eddy: Hello? Testing?

Ed: Da fauq!?

Eddy: Missed us? Double D figured out how to use the outhouse of space travel to play games from beyond the other side.

Ed: Is that you all mighty Ra?

Eddy: No. It's us Ed.

Ed: Phantoms from beyond the grave come to haunt me for stealing their series!

Edd: You did what? Wait who's your partner then?

Ed: Brief.

Edd: The soulless ginger? For the love of all things holy man! If you wanted a ginger for your partner at least of got Dexter.

Eddy: Or boobums- I mean Blossom.

Brief: Im right here guys.

Eddy: Oh... Changing the subject to let's play!

* * *

Rules, The gang will fight in stadiums. The first to have two out of three victories wins the melee. Ed is green spartan, Edd is red, Eddy is yellow & Brief is pink. Lets begin!

* * *

Map one, wreckage.

Eddy: Kay... Ready? Set? Everyman for himself!

Everyone scatters while shooting at random.

Everyone: Ahahahahaha!

A minute later everyone has calmed down and the real hunt begins.

Eddy: Oh Double D? Come on out and play...ay!

Edd: No.

Eddy: D*** it! That usually works!

Edd: It really does.

Eddy: Every night I go out into dark alleyways and am all like "Yo homies! Come at me!" but then I'm so disappointed when only the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pop out and kick my a**.

Edd: Better then the Teen Titans!

Ed: Id have to say no to that Double D. I'd rather be mugged by the Teen Titans then the TMNT.

Edd: You're insane. The TMNT will just put you in gutter. Titans put you in the hospital.

Eddy: The Titans are beaten by push over villains everyday. TMNT do all the real work.

Ed: Titans, kids playing cosplay! Turtles, real heroes!

Edd: You're just super butt hurt the Titans are awesome.

Eddy: If the Titans were doing their actual job and fight the villains then New York wouldn't need mutant reptiles to defend them!

Edd snipes Eddy.

Edd: Ha! That's for the Titans. And this is for fun.

Eddy: Don't you dare! Don't you dare!

Edd proceeds to teabag Eddy.

Edd: Yes! Yes! Feel the c*** of a real Spartan in your face plate!

Eddy: ... You're different. You've become a different man then the nerd we grew up with. I don't even know who you are anymore.

Edd: That is because I have achieved a higher state of being by traveling down the cave of memories.

Eddy: If you get that reference your probably Pikachu9112. If you don't then oh well.

Ed: We can't help you there.

Ed travels down one of the corridors.

Ed: D*** it! Where are any of you?

Edd: Why not just look at our screen?

Ed: I am but you guys are like able to teleport. By the time I reach where I thought you were you've already ran to the other side of the map.

Edd: Thats part of the fun. Will I be here or over here? You'll never know. Teehee.

Eddy: The hell was that?

Edd: My taunting voice.

Ed finally catches up to Edd in a small room causing them both to panic and fire at will.

Ed: There you are!

Edd: Oh F***! I ment to go the other way!

Eddy: Get him! Teabag him! Do it! Do it!

Edd wins by a miss fire.

Edd: Yeah! America!

Ed: F***.

Edd: You charged that s*** up and I sent it home! Yeah!

Ed: That was real though. Respect.

Edd: You know what I must do.

Ed: No. Don't.

Edd teabags Eds saprtan.

Edd: Take it.

Ed: I don't want to.

Edd: I'll just do this all day.

Ed: Thats what she said.

Edd: I hope that's what she said. I would love to meet her.

Eddy: You have, it's Panty.

Ed: It so is! It so freaking is!

All of sudden Brief gets Edd.

Edd: Da hell?... Da hell!? Where did that come from?

Eddy: Hahahaha!

Ed: I forgot you were even playing Brief. You just sat there and never said a word.

Brief: I even went to the bathroom and you didn't notice.

Edd: F**************************!

* * *

Round one results, Brief = One. Eds = Get Da f*** out of here!

* * *

Map two, Harvest.

Ed: Alright. It's time for me to be Mr. Cool Guy. Lets go!

Edd immediately kills Ed.

Edd: Bang. You're dead.

Ed:...

Edd: I don't even feel satisfied about how easy this kill was. It's like the elk just throwing itself in front of the hunters truck before he even has a chance of getting to the hunting grounds. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to teabag you.

Ed:F***!

Edd: Mwhaahahahaha!

Meanwhile with Eddy.

Eddy: Um guys... Who choose the blue armor?

Edd: No one. Why?

Eddy: There's a floating blue spartan coming for me.

Edd: You got a ghost!? Ha! This makes my job so much easier!

Ed: They aren't necessarily on your side you know?

Edd: But I know the key on how to beat them. By leaving them with you guys.

Ed: Well now we know the key too!

Edd: But you're not capable of following through on it!

Eddy is being backed off a bridge tiring to fight the ghost.

Eddy: No! Stay away from me! D*** it this doesn't count as a kill.

The ghost gets Eddy.

Eddy: F***!

Edd: Hahaha! Don't think I've forgotten you Brief.

Brief: Yeah but you can't find me.

Edd: I could easily see you. You're they only pink thing on the screen.

Eddy: Thats what I told your mom last night.

Edd: Screw you.

Eddy: Thats why I was talking to your mom last night.

Edd snipes Brief winning the match.

Edd: That one was from Americas true homeboy, ME!

Eddy: You're not Americas homeboy.

Edd: Dho. You're just a dream crusher.

Eddy: I really am. Hey how's Avril Lavigne doing with her new husband?

Edd: Ahahahahahahaha!

* * *

Round two results, Brief & Edd = Big d*** OG's that all the fan girlies wanna get with. Ed & Eddy = Angry but they'll forget about it in a few minutes.

* * *

Map three, Shatter.

Eddy: Okay. Edd is the common enemy at this point.

Ed: If we don't do something he is going to win.

Eddy: Truce?

Ed: Truce.

Eddy: You ain't delivering any report cards to day Double D.

Edd: You just can't let anything go can you?

Eddy: You can just read me like a book. Am I that obvious?

Ed and Eddy unite to hunt Edd.

Edd: This is some serious bull. You guys can't team up in a melee.

Eddy: I don't care about winning at this point. If I can say at the end of the day I made someone else's day much worse then I can go to bed happy.

Edd: And you always go to bed happy.

Eddy: I really do.

Edd: But Buttercup goes to bed very disappointed and unsatisfied.

Eddy: She really do- hey wait a minute!

Ed gets snuffed by a ghost.

Ed: Get Da f*** out of here with dat s***! That can't count!

Eddy: If it counts for mine then so does yours.

Edd: No man escapes the Manhunters.

* * *

A clip from Green Lantern then plays.

Manhunter: No man escapes the Manhunters.

* * *

Edd: No man escapes the Manhunters.

Eddy: No man escapes the Manhunters.

* * *

Manhunter: No man escapes the Manhunters.

* * *

Edd & Eddy: No man escapes the Manhunters.

Ed: Stop quoting canceled TV shows!

Edd: All just to reales another Batman cartoon! That's real f***ing original!

Eddy: What is this like they're ninth Batman cartoon?

Ed: Pretty much.

Eddy: I want a Spyro cartoon!

Edd: That was just like super random.

Ed: We didn't even build up to that. You just said it at random.

Eddy: I needed to get that off of my chest. If I didn't then it would've stewed up and just kill me on the inside.

Edd: Yeah, killing you is my job.

Edd kills Eddy's spartan.

Edd: Booya!

Eddy: No! Only Cyborg can use that line!

Edd: Only Cyborg, do you hear this guy? Cyborg isn't even black anymore.

Ed: So! You're not even Japanese anymore!

Edd: Shh... Don't tell the readers my horrible secret.

Edd is all of sudden snuffed by Brief.

Edd: No!

Eddy: Ka blam!

Edd: I was so close to winning!

Brief: Two wins? I won? I won!

Eddy: You lost to Brief! In pink armor! You lost to a woman spartan!

Ed: Some people just can't deal with a strong woman working with what she's got.

Eddy: Halo? This! Is! Halo 4!

The remix song then begins to play.

* * *

Final results, Brief = The true last of the OG's. Eds = FTW!

* * *

Coming Soon.

The Powerpuffs play MMO's.


End file.
